The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.

More Psychology Steps for Healing Success

An early question to ask yourself about your particular problem of concern is whether you would like to change. Do not at this step ask yourself about whether such psychology change is possible, for your response will probably be something like: "No, I can't change. That change is impossible. That is the way I am. I always have been that way and I always will be that way." Just reiterating such an inflexible psychological position will usually be enough to prevent all growth, change and success in healing.

Emotionally healthy adults are comfortable saying the words I love you to men, women, and children in a feeling way.

If you decide you do wish to change, then it is vital to realize that psychology healing changes usually take time to accomplish. The long haul is frequently necessary for success. The right attitudes during this long haul are vital. Just because I want to change X does not mean that it is helpful to criticize myself or feel badly every time I do X. Instead, I need to keep my focus on the positive goal of Y (which I intend to replace X) and my possible next steps along the road from X to Y. "What might I say or do or feel to move further along toward Y?" can be a very valuable question for myself to help me change. (Listen to your impulsive or intuitive responses to that question.)


The more accepting I can be of myself during this multi-step process, the better the healing results I am likely to achieve. A loud "damn" or "I'm such a lousy person" rarely help to effect change.* Instead, if I can consciously come to believe that my problem behavior stems perfectly (see Chapter 8 for more on this perfection) from my entire life history, the happier I shall be. Also, I'll be more effective changing that behavior.

Next Excerpt>>> Help with Procrastinating

More Excerpts This Chapter
   Psychological Denial and Blame
   Waiting & Resolving Issues
   Small Psychology Steps I
   Healing Success Step ~ Personal Story
   Small Change Locally
   Self Criticism = Lousy

This Chapter's Quiz