More Psychology Steps for Healing Success
An early question to ask yourself about your particular problem
of concern is whether you would like to change. Do not at this
step ask yourself about whether such psychology change is possible, for
your response will probably be something like: "No, I can't
change. That change is impossible. That is the way I am. I always have been that way and I always will be that
way." Just reiterating such an inflexible psychological position will usually
be enough to prevent all growth, change and success in healing.
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Emotionally healthy adults are comfortable saying the words I love you to men, women, and children in a feeling way. |
If you decide you do wish to change, then it is vital to
realize that psychology healing changes usually take time to accomplish. The long
haul is frequently necessary for success. The right attitudes during this
long haul are vital. Just because I want to change X does not
mean that it is helpful to criticize myself or feel badly every
time I do X. Instead, I need to keep my focus on the positive
goal of Y (which I intend to replace X) and my possible next
steps along the road from X to Y. "What might I say or do or feel
to move further along toward Y?" can be a very valuable question
for myself to help me change. (Listen to your impulsive or
intuitive responses to that question.)
The more accepting I can be of myself during this multi-step process, the
better the healing results I am likely to achieve. A loud "damn" or "I'm
such a lousy person" rarely help to effect change.* Instead, if
I can consciously come to believe that my problem behavior stems
perfectly (see Chapter 8 for more on this perfection) from my
entire life history, the happier I shall be. Also, I'll be more
effective changing that behavior.
Next Excerpt>>> Help with Procrastinating 
More Excerpts This Chapter
Psychological Denial and Blame
Waiting & Resolving Issues
Small Psychology Steps I
Healing Success Step ~ Personal Story
Small Change Locally
Self Criticism = Lousy
This Chapter's Quiz
