"IMPOSSIBLE" SUCCESSES
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
An early question to ask yourself about your particular problem
of concern is whether you would like to change. Do not at this
stage ask yourself about whether such change is possible, for
your response will probably be something like: "No, I can't
change. That change is impossible. That is the way I am. I always have been that way and I always will be that
way." Just reiterating such an inflexible position will usually
be enough to prevent all growth and change.
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Emotionally healthy adults are comfortable saying the words I love you to men, women, and children in a feeling way. |
If you decide you do wish to change, then it is vital to
realize that changes usually take time to accomplish. The long
haul is frequently necessary. The right attitudes during this
long haul are vital. Just because I want to change X does not
mean that it is helpful to criticize myself or feel badly every
time I do X. Instead, I need to keep my focus on the positive
goal of Y (which I intend to replace X) and my possible next
step along the road from X to Y. "What might I say or do or feel
to move further along toward Y?" can be a very valuable question
for myself to help me change. (Listen to your impulsive or
intuitive responses to that question.)
The more accepting I can be of myself during the process, the
better the results I am likely to achieve. A loud "damn" or "I'm
such a lousy person" rarely help to effect change.* Instead, if
I can consciously come to believe that my problem behavior stems
perfectly (see Chapter 8 for more on this perfection) from my
entire life history, the happier I shall be. Also, I'll be more
effective changing that behavior.
Next Excerpt 
| Personal growth is like a hike of a million and one steps; one at a time is the only way.
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More Excerpts This Chapter
STAGES OF HEALING
MAKING CHANGES IN SMALL STEPS (Stage IVa above)
"IMPOSSIBLE" SUCCESSES
PROCRASTINATION
A PERSONAL EXAMPLE
CHANGING OTHERS EFFECTIVELY
A LOUSY WAY OF MAKING CHANGES = SELF CRITICISM
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Sexual Education Psychology
"IMPOSSIBLE" SUCCESSES © 1995-2004