OUR CURRENT FAMILIES BRING OUT OUR SKEWNESS

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


The mates we select, the children we raise and the parents who raised us are the ones who trigger our buttons most effectively. We are at our most skewed around these people: quick to anger, quick to blame, quick to avoid talking about important matters, quick to feel judged and criticized, etc. The family members who trigger our whole neurotic keyboards will seem impossible. The ones who just trigger a button or two will seem very difficult. Families ideally should be the source of comfort, centeredness and renewal. That is impossible if one's buttons are too often triggered by those who are supposed to be loving and comforting us.


The majority of us can be dreadfully inhumane if we are following directions from a person in authority.

One important longtime goal of Murray Bowen, a famous family therapist, was the ability to be normal in the presence of his family of origin. He achieved that goal only after much therapy, much training and much trial and error. Some of us fail to see beyond our family members' obvious neuroses to what Bowen saw so clearly, that we are also acting neurotically around them.


Some believe that since they get along well with work colleagues that their mate must be the cause of the stress, altercations and "lack of communication" in their relationship. Such people often fail to realize that they are acting quite differently with their mates than they are with work colleagues. (This seems to happen more with women because they often have more satisfying friendships outside their primary spouse relationship with which to compare.) Those prone to judging and blaming are often convinced their spouse must be the one most responsible for all the problems, failing to see that their own judging and blaming are a major part of the problem.

Next Excerpt  

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God... Mark Twain 1925

More Excerpts This Chapter
   ARE 97% OF FAMILIES NEUROTIC?
   TRAUMATIZING CHILDREN - 97% OF THEM?
   ARE WE REALLY HUMANE?
   EFFECTIVE PARENTING
   OUR CURRENT FAMILIES BRING OUT OUR SKEWNESS
   MOTHERS CAN BE SEXIST TOO
   MANY MEN STILL ABDICATE THEIR PARENTING ROLES
   WORKING MOMS - ARE THEIR KIDS OK?
   LATCHKEY CHILDREN DON'T DO AS WELL
   THE SEARCH FOR APPROVAL
   THE ELDERLY


This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents  
Sexual Education Psychology
Self Help Free Read - Book Online

OUR CURRENT FAMILIES BRING OUT OUR SKEWNESS © 1995-99