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MOTHERS CAN BE SEXIST TOO

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


I recently spoke with a mother who called herself a feminist. She told of how she and her female friends would never have male baby-sitters for their children because of the likelihood of physical or sexual abuse. Obviously her ideas lump men in a sexist way as abusers and molesters. What do you think her children and her friends' children are learning from their mothers' behavior? They are learning that men cannot be trusted, that men can't take care of children, that men are louts, etc. This is incredibly sexist, and it is the women who are promulgating the sexist message. They are causing trauma in both their male and female children with such messages. Their children will struggle for years overcoming such sexist messages.


Today many misguided parents are teaching their children that ALL authority is bad, not just that bad authority is bad.

Some surveys show that over half the mothers of today are reluctant to allow full child-rearing participation by the fathers, because "the fathers just wouldn't do it right." I wonder what such women would say about a CEO today remarking that "women don't belong in the CEO's chair because women just wouldn't do it right"? That CEO would be an immediate target of protest.


I think there is more involved in women being protective of their child-rearing status than just whether the father would do it right. Consider the power and increased self-esteem that the average woman feels while raising children. Many women would say that the mothering role is far more important than any work role (translation: more important than work outside the home). The raising of their children is a real power trip (empowering, not necessarily unhealthy) for many women. How do men feel about raising children? Men haven't generally admitted it, but feeling weak and dependent upon their wives accurately describes the situation of many traditional males vis-a-vis child-rearing. Isn't this precisely the traditional female experience concerning money and power outside the home? Some women seem no more willing to give up their power spheres (child-rearing and the home) than some men are willing to give up their power spheres (money and work outside the home). Yet much current-day rhetoric indicates that men are the sole problem.

Next Excerpt  

He whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed... Confucius 500 B.C.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   ARE 97% OF FAMILIES NEUROTIC?
   TRAUMATIZING CHILDREN - 97% OF THEM?
   ARE WE REALLY HUMANE?
   EFFECTIVE PARENTING
   OUR CURRENT FAMILIES BRING OUT OUR SKEWNESS
   MOTHERS CAN BE SEXIST TOO
   MANY MEN STILL ABDICATE THEIR PARENTING ROLES
   WORKING MOMS - ARE THEIR KIDS OK?
   LATCHKEY CHILDREN DON'T DO AS WELL
   THE SEARCH FOR APPROVAL
   THE ELDERLY


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