The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
An important truth is that the body reacts virtually the same
way to an imagined experience as it does to a real experience.
This phenomenon has been used recently by many therapists to
provide some corrective childhood experiences for the 97% of us
who suffered traumas back then. If I didn't get enough holding
from Dad, then I can imagine that I am 3 or 11 pretending all
sorts of experiences where Dad of yesteryear holds me lovingly.
By such a process I can provide myself significant healing of my
old needing-Dad's-love trauma. If it is too difficult to imagine
your particular parents being so different, then you can create
two new imaginary parents for yourself. (I think it less
productive if you imagine yourself as an adult holding the
child-you. If the exercise is done in this manner, many don't
feel the full force of the available healing. Because it is a
useful first step for some, however, try it if you cannot
imagine yourself being the small child getting the healing.)
The ultimate in self responsibility: Wherever I am unhappy, there is where I need to change myself. Most of us blame others.|
Such healing work has been made well known by John Bradshaw.
The below list of healing statements is suggested. The first
five are from Homecoming (Bradshaw 1992, 93). The remainder come
from this author.
It will probably be most effective if you say these ten
statements aloud into your tape recorder. Then listen to them
with closed eyes, and imagine yourself as a baby/ toddler being
held by and told these words by a loving parent:
"Welcome to the world, I've been waiting for you."
"I will not leave you, no matter what."
"I like feeding you, bathing you, changing you and spending
time with you."
"I'm so glad you're a boy (or a girl)."
"God smiled when you were born."
I want you to enjoy your entire body, your lips, your mouth,
your stomach, your fingers, your genitals and your toes-
your entire body.
I'll come whenever you need me.
It's OK to be angry or sad.
I love you just the way you are.
I love holding you, cuddling you and stroking you. I love you,
my little one.
If this type of healing seems right for you, then there are many
more healing ways described in Homecoming. The more you practice
being the child who gets the love rather than being the adult
who gives it to the child-you, the more effective such work will
|If you avoid any specific feeling long enough, it will come to dominate you. You will be fearful and live your life as if some shark below were poised for attack. Feel the feeling and that shark disappears.
More Excerpts This Chapter
Therapy 4-H Club: PEOPLE ARE NOT FLOCKING TO JOIN THIS CLUB
BLAMING IS VALUABLE - BLAMING IS USELESS
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Sexual Education Psychology
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