MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


As described in the preceding section, the average male is far less verbal than the average female. Therefore, it will often be the case that he tunes out her words very quickly. How many women can truly accept that their man will never be willing or able to verbally communicate, either by talking or by listening, to women's standards?


Life for both sexes is arduous, difficult, a perpetual struggle. It calls for gigantic courage and strength..... Virginia Wolff

If a woman could accept such a never, then she might galvanize herself to learn different methods that might lead to much increased effectiveness of communication. There are ways, but they will often not look like the typical communications among women. These ways involve increased quality and effectiveness of the communications attempted. Some suggestions follow that presume a mythical/ average couple who want better communication (Note- these suggestions do not depend upon their spouse's actions):

(1)She must reduce her quantity of words. After a certain length of time he will tune her out no matter what. He must be more truthful about when he starts tuning out and why.

(2)She must be careful about preciseness. An accusation that he never takes out the garbage when he knows he took it out once three months ago may lead to his rejecting everything she says. He must express how he is affected by such globalizing comments.

(3)In his seminars on relationships Gary Smalley describes a method he calls word pictures. This method involves communicating feelings by word pictures.


There are many books written about communication. Whatever your sex, read them if communication is a problem in your relationship(s). Almost all of us could learn to be more effective communicators with the people in our lives.

Next Excerpt  

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world... Socrates c. 400 B.C.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   WOMEN & MEN: OUR MASCULINE-FEMININE MISCONCEPTIONS
   I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH
   MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE
   LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
   THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD
   FRIENDS BETTER KNOW THEIR ROLES
   SUPPORT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO RELATIONSHIPS
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
   THE SAGA OF JOHN DOE (white male, average guy)
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF WOMEN
   FEMINISTS ARE A DIVERSE GROUP


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