LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
There is such confusion about this matter! Let me simplify -
the verbal, sorting, detail-oriented side of the brain is the
left, whereas the spatial intuitive nonverbal side is the right.
Who is more verbal, the average man or woman? By a wide margin,
of course, the answer is the woman. She speaks twice as many
words as the man and has done so even before the age of two.
Boys and men are much more nonverbal, usually preferring
physical spatial activities even as small toddlers. So the
evidence is clear that women hang out more in their left brains,
whereas men tend to hang out more in their right brains.
Am I saying that beer-guzzling/ TV-glued/ sex-driven man in
your life is more intuitive than you, the average woman? Yes,
for he senses a situation and takes action intuitively (though
his responses may be very restricted). He does not go through a
long internal verbal process in choosing his path - he reacts,
knowing it is right for him to do so. Intuition is defined
(Oxford, 1980, s.v. "intuition") as "the power of knowing or
understanding something immediately without reason or being
taught." He responds immediately with sexual feeling to sex
objects (no planning or long decision making process for him in
these matters). This is an immediate response to his feelings
(i.e., right brain work). If you say something he doesn't want
to hear, he will not respond verbally, but spatially as he moves
to the TV to watch hockey reruns. He senses your words are wrong
for him, and his intuitive response is to move away. As a woman,
on the other hand, you may have long debates in your head before
you come to make a decision or take some action. Such internal
thinking and debating are left brain activities.
Note to Women. Men are not generally as comfortable on the
verbal side of their brains as you are. When you say to them
"let's talk," you are asking them to join you in an activity in
which most men feel somewhat inferior to you. As soon as
possible, many men therefore will opt out of talking to return
to their preferred nonverbal spatial activities.
There is major confusion between the words intuition and
creativity. Intuitive people are not necessarily creative, some
just keep duplicating old ruts without much conscious left brain
thinking. Creative people, on the other hand, manage
successfully (though perhaps only temporarily) in the intuitive
right brain.
Major contributors to the confusion about left-right brain
activity are feelings, which usually have been attributed to the
right brain. It has been a recent societal value to consider
right brain activities as more desirable. Yet some recent
research suggests that happy feelings reside in the left brain
and unhappy feelings in the right brain. Who wants to rush to be
the right-brained person now?
Because men do seem to have more difficulty with feelings, it
has been often believed that men must not be in the right half
of the brain. On the contrary, they often compensate for their
difficulties with certain feelings by feeling others. Typical
compensations are: (1)they may feel sexual in all sorts of
situations that are not particularly sexual, (2)they may just
head for their TV addiction instead of hanging out with an
uncomfortable feeling or (3)they may get angry in situations
that might call for a different response. Men, when they repress
their feelings, do not routinely move to the verbal left brain.
They often stay in the right brain and compensate by feeling
other feelings or by choosing some addictive behavior.
Thus, I make the following assertion that is contrary to much
published information: women are more left-brained, men are more
right-brained, perhaps 80-90% of men and women. (My thanks to
Patricia Sun for planting in my brain the possibility of this
being the truth .)
| Needing someone else to understand is a trap that causes millions of us lifelong happiness deficits.
|
Test Yourself for Left-Right Brain Tendencies. A one-question
quiz (without scientific basis) may give you a good clue. The
question is - "Assuming you hold up your share of the words, do
you usually spend significantly more than an hour each week on
personal phone calls?" If you do, you have left-brain
tendencies. If you don't, you have right-brain tendencies.
Of course, many situations are more complex or are exceptions:
(1)many men and women don't fit the typical mold, (2)lefthanders
often are the exception, (3)the average woman may have better
access to both halves of the brain and (4)men often seem to
shift from wholly left to wholly right and back rather than find
a middle ground with ready access to both halves (as might the
average woman). These more complex situations tend to confuse
us.
Each of us would do well to examine our own favorite brain
location. Historically, women and men have tended to cluster in
occupations that fit the above described right-left brain
tendencies. The choice of our jobs is vital to our happiness
(see Chapter 14). Selections based upon some socially-correct
view of today, instead of our own natural inclinations, could
well produce much unhappiness in our lives. Non-traditional job
opportunities are vital for that significant minority of both
men and women whose natural gifts (and favored sides of the
brain) are non-traditional. Because men and women have different
preferred sides of the brain, it seems a faulty goal to have a
50-50 female-male balance as a societal goal in any occupation
that is left-right brain oriented. (On the other hand, equal
opportunity is desirable, as is equal pay for equal work.)
Next Excerpt 
| Contrary to popular wisdom, women are more logical than men and men are more intuitive than women (on average). Seems wrong, doesn't it?
|
More Excerpts This Chapter
WOMEN & MEN: OUR MASCULINE-FEMININE MISCONCEPTIONS
I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH
MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE
LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD
FRIENDS BETTER KNOW THEIR ROLES
SUPPORT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO RELATIONSHIPS
THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
THE SAGA OF JOHN DOE (white male, average guy)
THE INSENSITIVITY OF WOMEN
FEMINISTS ARE A DIVERSE GROUP
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Sexual Education Psychology
LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN © 1995-2004