THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


Men are often just trying to pacify women concerning housework. Women are usually the ones unhappy about the lack of housework help from their spouses. Many women fail to see that they have been overtrained and traumatized as young girls by their mothers. Therefore, they have all sorts of standards and shoulds which to their spouses are just simply absurd. (Leaving the microwave door open is more efficient. Leaving an often-used can opener on the counter is more efficient. Putting clothes in a drawer makes them less accessible. Dusting seems irrelevant. Why do the dishes before clean ones run out? Finally, doing it all so often seems ridiculous to many men.) Women often fail to assume responsibility for their unhappiness in this area, demanding that their spouses change. Instead, I suggest that women try using two of their strengths, planning and logic.


We will never fully understand each other. That is OK, though many think otherwise.

What planning and logic can accomplish is the training of men to notice a few things, those things that by joint agreement are to be the man's responsibility. Beyond those items that become the man's responsibility, women had best learn to expect and accept complete obliviousness. Otherwise, a woman may burden her relationship with added strain because of her unhappy judgments about what her man should be doing about housework.


Yes, the average man needs to do more housework, but not to the average woman's standards.

Next Excerpt  

If you avoid any specific feeling long enough, it will come to dominate you. You will be fearful and live your life as if some shark below were poised for attack. Feel the feeling and that shark disappears.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   WOMEN & MEN: OUR MASCULINE-FEMININE MISCONCEPTIONS
   I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH
   MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE
   LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
   THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD
   FRIENDS BETTER KNOW THEIR ROLES
   SUPPORT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO RELATIONSHIPS
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
   THE SAGA OF JOHN DOE (white male, average guy)
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF WOMEN
   FEMINISTS ARE A DIVERSE GROUP


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Sexual Education Psychology

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