THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


Sensitivity is a popular word these days, spoken often by politically-correct groups. The usual implication is that males don't have it, and said lack is one of the major causes of society's ills. There is some truth in the perceived lack of male sensitivity. Men, more often than women, have difficulty with loving feelings, being vulnerable, and with grieving. These are vital human qualities that men have often lost and that may take much time and therapy to regain. Often men are not even aware that they are hurting. The denial of pain and hurt is widespread, particularly among men. For them it is often safer to stick with the anger than to face any of the fear and hurt beneath the rage. It is often an important part of men's personal growth to become aware of and sensitive to discomfort, fear and hurt.


Almost ANY "psychological" symptom can be caused by food allergies/ intolerances. Have you tested yourself for these allergies/ intolerances?

Men's processes of regaining valuable sensitivity are happening, though not always in obvious ways. The changes are often happening right on our TV screens. Who among us did not get some sex therapy during the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill controversy? Everyone was talking about it, what was OK, what was not OK, what men thought, what women thought - sex therapy for the entire culture. How many millions of men witnessed the retirement ceremony of basketball superstar Magic Johnson and his ability to say "I love you" to teammates and family? What about his ability to just let the tears flow down his cheeks? Many men viewing this were moved to look at themselves and talk among themselves, which is an essential step in the recovery of lost vulnerable qualities.


Standards for total sensitivity are held to be "right and proper" by some of us, yet is this not impossible? How could we ever be totally sensitive to groups of which we are not a part? We are all insensitive in some degree, because your experience is not mine, nor mine yours. This often has nothing to do with prejudice, racism, sexism or homophobia. Our differences in life experience will cause others' reasoning, ideas, and problems (particularly if their groups have been distant from my experience) to be less real and less understood by me. Instead of demanding total sensitivity, the key here is to not respond unhappily when we are misunderstood (see previous chapter).

Next Excerpt  

The average two-year-old is a great beacon for emotional health, displaying a full range of emotions and moving beyond them once they are expressed.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   WOMEN & MEN: OUR MASCULINE-FEMININE MISCONCEPTIONS
   I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH
   MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE
   LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
   THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD
   FRIENDS BETTER KNOW THEIR ROLES
   SUPPORT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO RELATIONSHIPS
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
   THE SAGA OF JOHN DOE (white male, average guy)
   THE INSENSITIVITY OF WOMEN
   FEMINISTS ARE A DIVERSE GROUP


This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents  
Sexual Education Psychology

THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN © 1995-2004