THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
Sensitivity is a popular word these days, spoken often by
politically-correct groups. The usual implication is that males
don't have it, and said lack is one of the major causes of
society's ills. There is some truth in the perceived lack of
male sensitivity. Men, more often than women, have difficulty
with loving feelings, being vulnerable, and with grieving. These
are vital human qualities that men have often lost and that may
take much time and therapy to regain. Often men are not even
aware that they are hurting. The denial of pain and hurt is
widespread, particularly among men. For them it is often safer
to stick with the anger than to face any of the fear and hurt
beneath the rage. It is often an important part of men's
personal growth to become aware of and sensitive to discomfort,
fear and hurt.
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Almost ANY "psychological" symptom can be caused by food allergies/ intolerances. Have you tested yourself for these allergies/ intolerances? |
Men's processes of regaining valuable sensitivity are
happening, though not always in obvious ways. The changes are
often happening right on our TV screens. Who among us did
not get some sex therapy during the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill controversy? Everyone was talking
about it, what was OK, what was not OK, what men thought, what
women thought - sex therapy for the entire culture. How many
millions of men witnessed the retirement ceremony of basketball
superstar Magic Johnson and his ability to say "I love you" to
teammates and family? What about his ability to just let the
tears flow down his cheeks? Many men viewing this were moved to
look at themselves and talk among themselves, which is an
essential step in the recovery of lost vulnerable qualities.
Standards for total sensitivity are held to be "right and
proper" by some of us, yet is this not impossible? How could we
ever be totally sensitive to groups of which we are not a part?
We are all insensitive in some degree, because your experience
is not mine, nor mine yours. This often has nothing to do with
prejudice, racism, sexism or homophobia. Our differences in life
experience will cause others' reasoning, ideas, and problems
(particularly if their groups have been distant from my
experience) to be less real and less understood by me. Instead
of demanding total sensitivity, the key here is to not respond
unhappily when we are misunderstood (see previous chapter).
Next Excerpt 
| The average two-year-old is a great beacon for emotional health, displaying a full range of emotions and moving beyond them once they are expressed. |
More Excerpts This Chapter
WOMEN & MEN: OUR MASCULINE-FEMININE MISCONCEPTIONS
I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH
MEN DON'T LISTEN; MEN DON'T COMMUNICATE
LEFT BRAIN - RIGHT BRAIN
THE HOUSEWORK BATTLEFIELD
FRIENDS BETTER KNOW THEIR ROLES
SUPPORT MAY BE DANGEROUS TO RELATIONSHIPS
THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN
THE SAGA OF JOHN DOE (white male, average guy)
THE INSENSITIVITY OF WOMEN
FEMINISTS ARE A DIVERSE GROUP
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Sexual Education Psychology
THE INSENSITIVITY OF MEN © 1995-2004