The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.

To work on certain personal problems more effectively, with or without a paid therapist, try to create either or both of the conditions discussed above: increased safety and/or lower defenses. For example, a close friend might be willing to be there for you and you could not eat for a few hours before attempting to start the work. I warn you, however, that close friends and spouses are suitable for some problems and absolutely wrong for others. If it feels right to you, try to enlist one of them for assistance. But I do not suggest investment either in their support or in the outcome of your attempt. For often we have such close people in our lives precisely because we have matching hangups. Just because you want to deal with a particular hangup or problem does not mean that they do. They may strongly resist any change.

Most psychology is kinda simple; read this chapter to understand worlds about yourself and others.

The knowledge that trauma knots are of varying complexity and strengths can be useful. As an example, consider a person with many similar experiences such as severe and mild abandonments over the course of a lifetime. Trauma knots associated with abandonment will probably be very resistant to loosening for this person. Untying those abandonment knots may seem impossible. If this trauma knot theory is correct, then therapies that tend to focus upon only one or two strands of the trauma knot should often prove ineffective in providing permanent relief. This is the case, for many therapies these days talk of "managing problems" or "managing anger" instead of resolving problems. For example, gaining insight into the pattern of past abandonments via some insight-oriented therapy may help make us aware of why we get stressed when someone close to us goes away for a month. But this insight may do nothing to alleviate our stress. I call this "suffering smarter," but it is not my goal with my therapy clients.

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Even simple-appearing trauma knots are often complex, usually resisting being untied with a few simple insights or quick fixes.

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   Psychology K.I.S.S.= KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID (directions from me to me)

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