The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
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ANGER KEEPS COMING BACK

My Problem Is That My Anger Keeps Coming Back. This is a clear indicator that the issue has not been resolved. Your anger is skewed. It is either off target, and/or the wrong emotion is being expressed. Yes, this does imply that I consider much of the socially-correct bashing so common these days to be skewed, neurotic or off-target (you pick the adjective).

It has been my experience that my clients' anger difficulties most often have their roots in childhood trauma knots that my clients do not wish to face. The part of those trauma knots that is most often avoided is hatred, childhood hatred. Until those clients are willing to feel that hatred, they continue to have difficulties with anger. Facing that aspect of trauma is discussed in the next chapter of this book.

Anger is ALWAYS based upon unfulfilled expectations; fully let go of the expecting, and your anger will be no more.

Emotionally Healthy Adults (with respect to anger)
1. are comfortable with anger and hatred, their own and others.
2. do get angry or fearful when physically threatened (fight/flight).
3. generally do not get angry when verbally attacked.
4. are able to change their responses. This implies that the next time an identical angry-making circumstance occurs (except #2 above), they do not get angry.
5. get angry rarely. Once they express the anger, it does not return.
6. do not dredge up old arguments because that old anger is long gone. They are genuinely able to forgive.


Obviously, few of us achieve the above. Nevertheless, you will be much happier the closer you are able to duplicate the above anger responses of emotionally healthy adults. Do you want to make it your personal long term goal to change some of your anger responses?

Other Anger & Rage Pages:
Ragetips and Hatetips
Q&A @ Anger & Hate
Anger Management = Stress

Next Emotions Excerpt  

More Excerpts This Chapter
   EMOTIONAL HEALTH = MENTAL HEALTH
   ANGER AND OUTRAGE
   HOLDING ON TO THE RAGE
   ANGER KEEPS COMING BACK
   LOVE 1 2
   SADNESS
   FEAR
   STUCK FEELINGS
   SKEWED EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION IS RAMPANT

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Even simple-appearing trauma knots are often complex, usually resisting being untied by a few simple insights or quick fixes.