The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
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The Caviar of Sex

The Caviar of Sex (as defined by a woman): sex in a context of a loving long-term committed relationship.

The Caviar of Sex (as defined by a man): sex with a Hollywood sex symbol.


While many, perhaps most, men eventually do move toward the above woman's view about the ideal sexual experience, this move usually does not come from following a "should." Instead, they discover that sex in a loving relationship is more satisfying than a quickie with a new partner. They change their view out of experience. Unfortunately, many men never seem to grow up in this regard because of their fear of a deep lasting relationship.


Tip for men who want more sex: Pay close attention to how your sexual WORDS are affecting your partner. Some words will be offensive and some will be arousing, depending upon your partner.

It is also unfortunate that many women who believe that loving sex is The Caviar of Sex often put down other forms of sexual expression. For them, sex in a significant relationship becomes the only OK form of sexual expression. While significant relationships might be wonderful, they are not always available. Not everyone at all times has them. Yet our sexuality is ever present. Sometimes it leads women into totally inappropriate relationships just to satisfy (1)a sex urge or (2)a neurotic trap of "you should be in relationship."


A belief in the necessity for an open marriage is not popular. Yet the freedom to explore outside marriage does seem essential for some, whether or not they do roam. Those who react most negatively to infidelity seem often confronted with it. Earth School lessons (see Chapter 11) may be at work here, giving such people roaming partners. Thus, they have the opportunity to move beyond their fears and unhappy feelings about unfaithfulness. Another @#$%^& growth opportunity! Many were horrified by the O'Neills' book, Open Marriage, and badly misinterpreted its meaning. (An open marriage does not imply that sex with partners outside the relationship will take place, but that the freedom is given to one's partner to do so.) Despite its controversy, Open Marriage contains valuable information about marriage and ways to move beyond one's discomfort with a roaming partner. I recommend that you read it if infidelity and/or a roaming partner are part of your life.

Next Excerpt  

If most pornography bothers you, then I suggest you start changing yourself instead of attempting to "reform" others.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
   The Caviar of Sex
   What About Your Dreadful Sexual Dream Last Night?
   Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
   Sex By The Scorecard
   Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?
   Sexual Boxes
   Treatment Of Gay Men, Lesbians And Bisexuals
   Achieving A Calmer Pornography Viewpoint 1    2
   Sex & The Catholic Church
   Rape
   Sex Therapy
   Sex Therapy We All Received
   Women And Men Will Never Be The Same Sexually

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