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The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
What About Your Dreadful
Sexual Dream Last Night?
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You desperately try to forget that dream with its unapproved
contents. It revealed the possibility of your worst sexual
fears: the "wrong" partner, the "wrong" sex act, nakedness,
exposure, impotence, incest, pedophilia, homosexuality, sadism,
masochism, lack of orgasm, bestiality or _______. (Fill the
blank with that dreadful sexual terror lurking within you.)
Because of that dream you have immediately leaped to the worst
conclusion about yourself. What next?
First, acknowledge your dread, as it is a valid truth for you
that you need to explore. It doesn't usually mean that you are
heading toward that particular dreaded sexual behavior. Instead,
it is often a wake-up call for you to do your own therapy (with
or without a paid therapist). Some psychological causes of such
fears/ dreams are: |
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Past Survey
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| Q: Concerning my X-rated sexual
dreams: |
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(1)Our Puritan heritage affects us all. See next section.
(2)Our childhood traumas of being excluded and abandoned by
parents/peers often make it not OK to be different sexually. If
this is the sole cause of your dreadful dream, then moving
beyond those childhood traumas (which can take time) will end
that type of dream.
(3)Often the dream-people give us the clue about where we need
to grow. If I dream incestuously about a parent, I may need to
explore [a]my childhood traumas associated with getting physical
affection from that parent, [b]my inability to have such
fantasies when I was four years old, [c]my fears of sex with an
adult of that parent's sex and [d]the abuse I suffered at the
hands of that parent. If I dream of sex that is not with adults,
then I need to explore possible fears within me of being an
adult sexually. If I uncomfortably dream of sadism or masochism,
where did I suffer pain, abuse or degradation in my past?
(4)Many sexual dreams today are triggered by the traumas
resulting from our lack of childhood emotional love and physical
affection. Much sexual behavior in waking life is also driven
by these old traumas of lack of love and affection. (But men on average would still have much more sexual
interest than women because of testosterone even if all their
neurotic sex drives could be eliminated.) Some homosexual
dreams, for both heterosexuals and homosexuals, have their roots
in fears of emotionally loving and being physically affectionate
with members of one's own sex.
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