The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
        Book (Table of Contents)         Chapter Quiz         All Quizzes      


Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage

If you grew up in the USA, you have the Puritan heritage too, from TV and schools, no matter what your parenting figures taught. Puritan training makes sexuality a minefield. "Sex is no good, should be hidden by clothes, should be used for making babies not pleasure, is wrong outside the sanctity of marriage, etc."

While most of us do overcome most of this training as teenagers, vestiges frequently remain. I have two suggestions to overcome these vestiges:

(1)Self-talk that counters the training is useful. If I find myself talking or acting as if "sex is no good," then saying "my sexuality is OK" aloud five times will help counter the early training. Similarly, rephrasing of Puritan ideas to their opposite meaning and repeating them to myself often will be helpful. For example, "my body is OK just the way it is, sex is pleasurable and I enjoy it, I can enjoy sex without marriage or love, lust is great," etc.

Past Survey
Q: My sexual experiences were or are at least somewhat inhibited because as a child I learned that:
men (or women) cannot be trusted
women (or men) are bitches (brutes)
sex is not OK
nakedness is not OK
2 of the above
3 or more of the above
never ever inhibited

View Results

For adults, "You make me unhappy" is false and a manipulative trap.

 
(2)A frequent toddler trauma occurs when Mommy and Daddy enforce the rule against nakedness. What the toddler often learns from such a rule is that "My sexual parts are not OK," or "I am not OK." A particular fantasy can help significantly in healing this. Picture yourself as a toddler, the size of a small child, with Mommy (or other parenting figure) nearby. Or make Mommy huge if you have trouble making yourself smaller. Picture yourself naked, and say the words "I am OK, my body is OK, my sexual parts are OK, my body feels good" five times. This fantasy experience can result in significant healing of toddler trauma (and may also cause you to feel some childhood rage and grief).

 

Our Puritan heritage can be overcome, but to do so often takes time and significant effort.

Next Excerpt  

If you have the impulse to seek out sex therapy for a sexual problem, do so. Such therapy is often efficient and relatively rapid.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
   The Caviar of Sex
   What About Your Dreadful Sexual Dream Last Night?
   Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
   Sex By The Scorecard
   Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?
   Sexual Boxes
   Treatment Of Gay Men, Lesbians And Bisexuals
   Achieving A Calmer Pornography Viewpoint 1    2
   Sex & The Catholic Church
   Rape
   Sex Therapy
   Sex Therapy We All Received
   Women And Men Will Never Be The Same Sexually

        Book (Table of Contents)         Chapter Quiz         All Quizzes