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The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
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If you grew up in the USA, you have the Puritan heritage too, from TV
and schools, no matter what your parenting figures taught.
Puritan training makes sexuality a minefield. "Sex is no good,
should be hidden by clothes, should be used for making babies
not pleasure, is wrong outside the sanctity of marriage, etc."
While most of us do overcome most of this training as teenagers,
vestiges frequently remain. I have two suggestions to overcome
these vestiges:
(1)Self-talk that counters the training is useful. If I find
myself talking or acting as if "sex is no good," then saying
"my sexuality is OK" aloud five times will help counter the
early training. Similarly, rephrasing of Puritan ideas to their
opposite meaning and repeating them to myself often will be
helpful. For example, "my body is OK just the way it is, sex is
pleasurable and I enjoy it, I can enjoy sex without marriage or
love, lust is great," etc. | |
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Past Survey
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| Q: My sexual experiences were or are
at least somewhat inhibited because as a child I learned that: |
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| For adults, "You make me unhappy" is false and a manipulative trap. |
(2)A frequent toddler trauma occurs when Mommy and Daddy
enforce the rule against nakedness. What the toddler often
learns from such a rule is that "My sexual parts are not OK," or
"I am not OK." A particular fantasy can help significantly in
healing this. Picture yourself as a toddler, the size of a small
child, with Mommy (or other parenting figure) nearby. Or make
Mommy huge if you have trouble making yourself smaller. Picture
yourself naked, and say the words "I am OK, my body is OK, my
sexual parts are OK, my body feels good" five times. This
fantasy experience can result in significant healing of toddler
trauma (and may also cause you to feel some childhood rage and
grief).
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