Sex By The Scorecard
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
Many were appalled by recent news about teen boys having a
competition over how many different girls they had "scored"
with. I believe 66 was the "winning" total. The public had many
conflicting opinions such as: the parents were at fault,
testosterone, boys will be boys, the girls brought it on, the
devil's work, etc.
|The average two-year-old is a great beacon for emotional health, displaying a full range of emotions and moving beyond them once they are expressed.|
What blaming and finger pointing! As a society we are
fragmented in the sexual area. We do not have a consensus about
right/ wrong, natural/ unnatural, OK/ not-OK sexual behavior.
Often in such cases it is fruitful to look at what is needed,
rather than continue with the blaming and finger pointing. Those
young men (who were in their late teens) needed to move beyond
just the sex act and into emotionally loving relationships. That
was their next stage of growth. Those teens were like many adult
men who are afraid of emotional loving. (Fear of emotional
loving also is prevalent among gay men who for long periods of
time have multiple partners.)
Women often don't understand that many of today's teen girls do
not feel degraded or put down by boys' scoring behavior. Instead
of a lack of values, teen girls experience a more healthy
exploration of sexuality than their mothers ever allowed
themselves. The girls, sooner than the boys because of their
societal training, will change their behavior to pursue the more
satisfying combination of sex and relationship.
When the message gets out enough to teens that such sexual
behavior (scoring with many partners) is typically based upon
fear of relationship, teens will reduce that behavior.
Nevertheless, I believe that some "scoring goals" are likely to
remain for those in their early teens. Full understanding of
one's sexuality may require knowledge of one's sexuality both in
and out of significant loving relationships. (Those who need to
judge others in this sphere had best look at themselves.) One of
the healthiest statements about sexuality I ever heard from
anyone (a woman in this instance) was: "Over the years, casual
sex became less and less interesting for me." She was not coming
from a position of judgment or recrimination, but one of valued
Labeling one another as straight, gay, bisexual, etc seems very important to many. But it can be a trap because of lack of clearcut distinctions and lack of awareness that sometimes our desires will change over time. |
More Excerpts This Chapter
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
The Caviar of Sex
What About Your Dreadful Sexual Dream Last Night?
Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
Sex By The Scorecard
Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?
Treatment Of Gay Men, Lesbians And Bisexuals
Achieving A Calmer Pornography Viewpoint 1
Sex & The Catholic Church
Sex Therapy We All Received
Women And Men Will Never Be The Same Sexually
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Archived PG-rated Sex Jokes: 1
HGH Endorsement - Growth Hormone (Human)
Sex By The Scorecard © 1995-99