Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


There are widespread misconceptions among heterosexuals about those who are not 100% heterosexual. The question that each heterosexual needs to ask is, "Did I choose to be turned on by the opposite sex, or did it just happen?"

For almost all of us, sexual arousal happens completely outside the control of our conscious minds. Consciously we do not choose to be aroused by one sex or another.

Past Survey
Q: What is the most important CAUSE why gays & lesbians become sexually attracted to the same sex?
genes
poor parenting
older predatory gays/lesbians
decision of higher-self, fate, God, or karma
conscious choice
none of the above

View Results

Gay men and lesbians never chose to be aroused by members of the same sex. Few would choose to receive the ostracism and the hatred of others that so often come with not being heterosexual. Gay men and lesbians do choose to act or not act on that sexual arousal. Most gay men and lesbians go through a period where they try to become "normal" with attempts at (1)heterosexual acts (with more or less success) and/or (2)heterosexual relationships, often including marriage and children. Most have tried to become straight, and therefore they know by experience the absurdity of those who say that the goal ought to be to make them straight.


Tip for men who want more sex: Pay close attention to how your sexual WORDS are affecting your partner. Some words will be offensive and some will be arousing, depending upon your partner.

Sexual arousal tends to follow emotional loving feelings. Consider a stereotypical 24-year-old male who for many years had sexual fantasies and dreams of sex goddess bodies. He falls in love with a homely, overweight or flat-chested woman who then "magically" becomes highly attractive sexually to him.


Tip for Men (Straight/ Gay/ In-Between). If you are looking for that great body first, you may never find your life-mate. If you love first, you will probably find the body you are with to be highly arousing.*

Next Excerpt  

Right/wrong and good/bad judgments about situations and others cause most of us much unhappiness every day.

More Excerpts This Chapter
   Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
   The Caviar of Sex
   What About Your Dreadful Sexual Dream Last Night?
   Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
   Sex By The Scorecard
   Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?
   Sexual Boxes
   Treatment Of Gay Men, Lesbians And Bisexuals
   Achieving A Calmer Pornography Viewpoint 1    2
   Sex & The Catholic Church
   Rape
   Sex Therapy
   Sex Therapy We All Received
   Women And Men Will Never Be The Same Sexually


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Archived PG-rated Sex Jokes: 1 2 3 4 5

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