Sexual Boxes
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
Labeling one another as straight, gay, bisexual, etc. seems
very important to many. Yet the distinctions are anything but
clear-cut. We often use boxes to try to define others, but in
truth our labeling says much about us. The labels themselves are
often used (1)as negative judgments of others (judgments of
others just bring the judge unhappiness- see Chapter 8), (2)as
inclusion/ exclusion devices that promote alienation or (3)as
fixed categories that do not allow for change. Many people don't
fit readily into any box. For example, how do you label a person
with mainly heterosexual dreams, fantasies and actions who has
an occasional homosexual dream? There would be many different
labels selected for this person depending upon who was doing the
labeling.
| We generally do NOT choose our sexual preferences. We choose to act on them, but sexual arousal is rarely a choice for us. It is either there in certain circumstances or it is not.
|
I suggest that you give yourself a sexual label if you so
choose, but that you allow others to be without a label unless
they choose to label themselves. What the labels don't allow for
are the many who just don't fit the boxes, who seem over time to
change boxes, or who may object to a particular label. (A
criminal who enters prison with strictly heterosexual dreams
and winds up leaving prison with mostly homosexual dreams is one
example of a person temporarily changing boxes.)
Only a very small percentage of those attempting to change
Sexual Boxes have achieved it by therapy or religious
conversion. Many claimed "successes" are in doubt. If it is part
of a person's lifeplan to explore alternate sexual behavior
(part of the teachings of some spiritual systems) or if a
person's genes cause homosexuality (a possibility), then any
conversion treatment for such a person will fail. What those who
use the term "pervert" (and its synonyms) imply is that
alternate orientations are wrong. If homosexual behavior is so
dreadfully wrong, why does it exist so prevalently in natural
wildlife populations?
Next Excerpt 
| Right/wrong and good/bad judgments about situations and others cause most of us much unhappiness every day.
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More Excerpts This Chapter
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
The Caviar of Sex
What About Your Dreadful Sexual Dream Last Night?
Overcoming Our Puritan Heritage
Sex By The Scorecard
Do We Choose Our Sexual Preferences?
Sexual Boxes
Treatment Of Gay Men, Lesbians And Bisexuals
Achieving A Calmer Pornography Viewpoint 1
2
Sex & The Catholic Church
Rape
Sex Therapy
Sex Therapy We All Received
Women And Men Will Never Be The Same Sexually
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
HGH Endorsement - Growth Hormone (Human)
Sexual Boxes © 1995-99