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RECOMMENDED GOAL OF THERAPY: INNER PEACE

The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.


While the dictionary defines therapy in terms of healing, there is significant disagreement about the meaning of healing in therapy. For some it implies one or more of the following: behavior change, symptom reduction, improved self-esteem or happily-ever-after. Some have therapeutic goals of a long-term committed relationship or a job with a good income (whatever $$$ that may mean). Instead of any of these goals, I suggest one longterm goal: inner peace. (This could also be phrased as happiness or contentment.)


For us to achieve inner peace, it is vital that it be a high priority goal. If it is not, we tend to flounder in the never ending seasons of our discontent. For much more on achieving happiness and inner peace congruent with the ideas of this paragraph, I strongly recommend Kaufman's Happiness Is a Choice. Those who do achieve contentedness seem to have traveled other growth paths to the extent that they also exhibit (1)personal authenticity, (2)a heightened ability to be present in the moment, and (3)a lack of judgments of others. To be lacking authenticity, to be often stuck in the past/ future or to be critical of others seems to prevent contentedness.


Other goals that seem reasonable may have flaws. If my unconscious lifeplan (see Chapter 8) is to meet with lifemate Jane in three years, then any therapy goal I have to meet my lifemate next week must fail. Assume my lifeplan is to work on any of my difficulties (addictions, being overweight, phobias, self-esteem, relationship struggles, etc.) with a particular person five years from now. Then therapy in that particular area today will fail if I attempt to resolve any difficulties that are a part of my future lifeplan. Some so-called "failures in therapy" may be nothing of the sort. They may be evidence of an overriding lifeplan that doesn't allow resolution of that problem now.


If you avoid any specific feeling long enough, it will come to dominate you. You will be fearful and live your life as if some shark below were poised for attack. Feel the feeling and that shark disappears.

Our goals in life often require revision once we start therapy. We have all received societal training in having outer-directed goals such as money, job, car, house, relationship, status and power. Outer-directed goals are often the ones most appropriate for us, particularly before we reach our thirties. As we grow older, many of our goals need to change to inner-directed being goals (see next paragraph). It is important not to judge others' goals as wrong. There are 50-year-olds who may be appropriately for them pursuing money, status, etc., as part of a higher-self lifeplan for the pursuit of money or status.


Adult goals that will usually give many of us more contentment and happiness are inner-directed being goals: being contented, being authentic, being accepting, being present, being honest, being aware, being powerful (in positive ways), being influential (in positive ways), being creative, being sexual, being loving, being grateful, being ourselves, enjoying laughter, enjoying humor and honoring our emotions.

Next Excerpt  

Every day in every way I'm getting better and better..... Emile Coue (still a useful statement to say out loud several times every day)

More Excerpts This Chapter
   RECOMMENDED GOAL OF THERAPY: INNER PEACE
   DON'T GIVE ALL YOUR PERSONAL POWER TO A THERAPIST
   THERAPISTS WILL DISAGREE WITH THESE WORDS
   FINDING A THERAPIST - SETTING THERAPY GOALS
   LIFE IS LUMPY
   CHANGES, SELF-GROWTH AND THERAPY DON'T ALWAYS TICKLE
   VENTILATION IS NOT ENOUGH
   SUFFERING SMARTER IS DUMB
   EACH THERAPY HAS ITS OWN LIMITS
   ALL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME MOTIVATIONS
   FEELINGS
   THERAPISTS IN THERAPY
   LEMON THERAPISTS
   OUR SOCIETY IS ON THE RIGHT TRACK
   MISSING FROM THIS BOOK
   YOUR PERFECT THERAPY


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Book Table of Contents  
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
Self Help Free Read - Book Online

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