CHANGES, SELF-GROWTH AND THERAPY DON'T ALWAYS TICKLE
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
Therapy usually does make you feel better. But that does not
imply that you will feel better immediately. In some ways
therapy is like going to a dentist with a toothache. Sometimes
you get the added pain of a novocaine needle, of drilling or of
sore gums afterwards before all the mouth pain, including that
of the original toothache, disappears. Similarly, facing
psychological problems means that one's symptoms sometimes seem
to get worse. Of course! This is natural. Our defenses keep us
from what we don't want to face. The threat of having to face
these unwanted issues raises our anxiety and thus increases our
symptoms.
| I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world... Socrates c. 400 B.C.
|
Aloneness is a routine feature of self-growth, particularly in
the specific area of current decision. Difficult situations,
ideas and feelings immediately arise once one decides to change;
aloneness is often especially difficult. A woman, in her
attempts to break out of the housewife mold, may be faced with
how to be assertive, how to face anger, how to express herself
in job situations, and how to or even whether to choose a new
occupation that might not be conventionally female. All these
choices will usually result in many feelings of being alone and
without much support as she finds her way along her own
individual path of growth. Her old friends may not be there for
her, and even if they are, they may not be of much assistance.
For they need the same growth she is having to find for herself.
I do not recommend retreating in the face of feeling so
stranded. Some aloneness must be faced if satisfactory
self-esteem is ever to be achieved. This is a significant aspect
of how we gain self-esteem - we do our own thinking and come up
with our own ideas and paths. It may be necessary to force
oneself to stay with aloneness instead of retreating into past
habit patterns. (Men also back away from much aloneness,
particularly that aloneness associated with grief and
hopelessness in their childhoods.)
One unpopular psychological truism (also Earth School truism)
is that once I start to face and overcome problem X, then my
next problem, Y, will often raise its problematic head. Y may be
my most painful and difficult problem ever. Just having Y in the
background may raise my anxiety and symptoms to a fever pitch.
If I fall into the feeling-good trap, I am likely to conclude
that it must be wrong for me because of the added stress. If so,
I resume my old unhappy ways.
Next Excerpt 
| The average two-year-old is a great beacon for emotional health, displaying a full range of emotions and moving beyond them once they are expressed. |
More Excerpts This Chapter
RECOMMENDED GOAL OF THERAPY: INNER PEACE
DON'T GIVE ALL YOUR PERSONAL POWER TO A THERAPIST
THERAPISTS WILL DISAGREE WITH THESE WORDS
FINDING A THERAPIST - SETTING THERAPY GOALS
LIFE IS LUMPY
CHANGES, SELF-GROWTH AND THERAPY DON'T ALWAYS TICKLE
VENTILATION IS NOT ENOUGH
SUFFERING SMARTER IS DUMB
EACH THERAPY HAS ITS OWN LIMITS
ALL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME MOTIVATIONS
FEELINGS
THERAPISTS IN THERAPY
LEMON THERAPISTS
OUR SOCIETY IS ON THE RIGHT TRACK
MISSING FROM THIS BOOK
YOUR PERFECT THERAPY
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
Self Help Free Read - Book Online
CHANGES, SELF-GROWTH AND THERAPY DON'T ALWAYS TICKLE © 1995-99