HOW CLOSE CAN WE COME TO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"?
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
This culture makes a huge investment in the happily-ever-after
belief. Not only do most of the tales we tell our children end
this way, but we have a number of similar beliefs that keep
tripping us up as adults.
A common unhappiness-causing adult belief in "happily ever
after" is, "If I do the right things, then I should be rewarded
with happiness." Anger and outrage often follow when the result
seems to be more like punishment than a reward. Justice is
supposed to prevail, according to many of us, yet it all too
frequently seems most blind and capricious. We do not have to
give up our belief in justice, just our belief that justice will
happen in our lifetime. Punishment by God or by karma outside
this lifetime will suffice, thank you. We don't have to try to
spend herculean amounts of time, energy and money to make it
happen here on earth. More than anything else, it is our failure
as a society to have satisfying spiritual beliefs that propels
our overzealous concentration on our justice system. We spend
billions suing each other, we spend billions on frivolous
appeals and we personally await jury verdicts (years later)
before we let our old wounds go.
| Most everyone causes themselves distress every day because of their judgments of others.
|
You really can come close to "happily ever after," but the
necessity for some unhappiness for a limited amount of time must
be accepted. Our growth processes are commonly triggered by our
feelings of unhappiness with a given event or person. It is
often necessary to go through a certain amount of unhappy
feelings before one feels happy. However, that process need not
take long. We tend to accept days and weeks of mild depression
as OK, but they are not necessary if we are willing to face the
feelings behind the mild depression. We tend to expect many
months of grief after a death, but often that can be shortened
dramatically. As a rule, (this will vary from one person to the
next and from this week to the next), try for 23 1/2 hours of
happiness a day during normal times. Stay with your unhappiness
only for a short time, but do not attempt to avoid it entirely.
Unhappiness can be postponed for a few hours or even a few days,
but its complete avoidance will likely increase the severity and
duration of every one of your symptoms.
There are several "thinking" therapies available. "Thinking"
therapies are often the most productive in terms of happiness
for your therapy dollar. You can also make worthwhile thinking
changes by using this book or by reading others.
More Excerpts This Chapter
LET ME HIT YOU WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER
THE TYRANNY OF JUDGMENTS
THAT IS THE WAY I AM
YOU MAKE ME UNHAPPY
YOU HURT MY FEELINGS- THEREFORE YOU SHOULD CHANGE
STICKS AND STONES
WE DIG THINKING RUTS
SIZE AND CONTENTS OF THE UNCONSCIOUS
NATURE VS. NURTURE VS. LIFEPLAN
THE PERFECTION THAT YOU ARE NOW
BE HAPPY GETTING WHAT YOU DON'T WANT
YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT
YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN
HOW CLOSE CAN WE COME TO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"?
Thinking Quiz - Cognitive Psychology Test - Behavioral Therapy Selfhelp
Book Table of Contents 
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
HOW CLOSE CAN WE COME TO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"? © 1995-2004