The below excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
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BEING YOUR OWN THERAPIST

My goal is not to get you to change but to empower you to change, if that suits your purposes. Frequently there are choices A and B, in which choice A, though very popular and often judged as correct, leads to unhappiness. Choice B, however unpopular, is a growth choice that ultimately leads to calmness and lack of stress. With my clients and with you, the reader, my goal is to show you such choices. I fully accept your choice and clients' choices to retain unhappiness. However, I do hammer clients over the head with such unhappy choices. For they (and you) are the ones choosing to retain the unhappiness by continually selecting unhappy choice A.

One recurring attribute of people who have happiness (or inner peace or contentment) is the attribute of being grateful and appreciative for what is all around them. Do you need to develop this for yourself?

For example, men in this culture historically have made the choice not to feel sadness and grief (i.e., choice A). The result is a wide array of acting-out behavior such as unreasonable anger or drug/ alcohol/ sexual/ gambling addictions. Such behavior temporarily relieves the stress that arises in situations that potentially might trigger sadness or grief. If such men learned instead to accept their feelings of sadness and grief, then the experience of such feelings (i.e., choice B) would change those so-called "bad" feelings to ones of contentment and OKness. (Please read Chapter 9 for more about this choice.) To be your own therapist, you must first have knowledge of the existence of such choices so that you can make them consciously. There may be many possible choices for you to make as you read this book; each will have repercussions in terms of your health and happiness.

Knowledge of what various therapies are trying to accomplish is often lacking in clients. How in such cases could clients have personal power? Therefore, just knowing what therapy is trying to accomplish can often be a significant step toward its accomplishment. Consequently, two major focuses in this book are on (1)what therapy is trying to do and (2)how you, the reader, can do as much of it as possible.

I do not intend to imply that all your growth work can be done without the aid of a therapist. Instead, do as much as you can and use a therapist as an adjunct/ assistant for what you can't accomplish by yourself. Sometimes assistants know more about certain issues than the boss. The wise boss accepts that without believing either that the assistant is boss or that the assistant knows everything. Remember that you, not the therapist, are the ultimate boss.*

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More Excerpts This Chapter
   DOING 90+% OF THERAPY YOURSELF
   POPULAR IDEAS MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HAPPINESS
   EMPOWERING YOURSELF
   HELP FOR YOUR PROBLEMS?
   WE ARE LIKE FIXER-UPPER HOUSES
   LET ME BE YOUR GURU
   FOLLOW YOUR OWN YELLOW BRICK ROAD
   FIND YOUR OPTIMUM THERAPEUTIC FOCUS
   BEING YOUR OWN THERAPIST
   THERE ARE MANY CHOICES
   BEING GRATEFUL AND APPRECIATIVE

BEING YOUR OWN THERAPIST © 1995-2004  

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Human existence can be considered a house of four rooms, the rooms of 1.the body, 2.the mind, 3.the emotions and 4.spirituality. Which rooms do you favor or leave unattended?