THE NUMBING PROCESS
The following excerpt is from the self help
psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.
While the preceding sections in this chapter emphasized causes
of the increased violence in our society, the original levels of
violence were already high. These next sections provide
additional suggestions for reducing these levels significantly.
Millions of us make the situation worse by emotionally harming
(numbing) our children (as we were so harmed as children by our
parents). We demand that our children swallow their hatreds for
us, causing them to displace them on to current targets like African-Americans, white males,
gays, fundamentalists and women. We numb ourselves and our
children (1)by making insensitivity the norm, (2)by making
ourselves too often "be nice", (3)by circumcising our males,
(4)by teaching our boys that to be a man means to be tough,
(5)by teaching our girls to be asexual and to deny anger, etc.
All these parental (and societal) teachings make us insensitive
to parts of ourselves. We numb out as we try to please our
parents and society.
I so desire to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end when I come to lay down the reins of power, I shall have lost every friend on earth, I shall have at least one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside me..... Abraham Lincoln|
This numbing/ traumatizing process (described in Chapter 3) is
almost universal in this society. And our "inner childs" are
furious at being so numbed out! Typically, we displace our
furiousness at being so numbed on to safer current targets, thus
never resolving the issue for ourselves. (Rage at current
targets is safer than facing our childhood rage.) Our hatred
will continue on and on. If our numbing is significant enough,
we will consider violence (or death or injury or pain) to be "no
A most important question is, "How do I contribute to the
numbing process?" How am I still numbing my sensitivity,
sexuality, anger, hatred, tears and love? If I am still
displacing my rage, anger and hatreds on to safer targets of
today, I am part of the violence problem. If I am still numbed,
I am contributing to the continuation of violence; and I will
not be maximally effective in changing others.
This is another case of "think globally, act locally." My work
first is to face my own emotional numbing, including its violent
and not-so-violent causes. Then I'll be much more effective in
changing my parenting, the schools, television and society. This
author considers numbing to be a massive human problem that will
only start changing when each of us becomes more aware of our
More Excerpts This Chapter
VIOLENCE: HOW DO I CONTRIBUTE TO THE ADDED VIOLENCE?
TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO BE UNHAPPY
OUR VALUES & SPIRITUAL BELIEFS HELP CAUSE THE VIOLENCE
THE NUMBING PROCESS
HOW DO WE CONTRIBUTE TO THE HOMELESS PROBLEM?
VERBAL BASHING CAN LEAD TO VIOLENCE
OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGE THE VIOLENCE
HOW INGRAINED IS THE VIOLENCE?
This Chapter's Quiz
Book Table of Contents
Psychology of Sex Education - Psychological Sexual Health Care
Self Help Free Read - Book Online
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