Unwanted Effects of a Codependent Parent on an Adult Child. Best Online Codependency Counseling
The experience of a codependent parent can be extremely devastating for a child to witness. As a result of growing up with a codependent parent, a child assumes responsibilities that are not age-appropriate. What happens when this child grows up is that they begin to imitate the behaviors that they witnessed from their codependent parent, and believe that this is healthy. Unfortunately as a consequence, these adults become codependent themselves or develop negative attachment habits, lack of emotional understanding, and possibly personality disorders.
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How do I find a codependency counseling specialist online?
Finding an online codependency counseling therapist can be a confusing experience. You may find that you have no idea what to look for or perhaps choose an unskilled counseling specialist. We advise you to first determine what you expect from your online codependency counseling therapist, as well as, make a note of what you need assistance with. This will help you navigate what you need. It is crucial to connect to a certified, experienced and professional codependency counseling therapist. BetterHelp has carefully selected a team of highly professional, certified, and eligible codependency specialists and counselors.
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What is a codependent parent?
Codependency can be found in any kind of family relationship. A mother can heavily rely on a daughter for physical caretaking or a father may be reliant on a son to keep him mentally stable and emotionally happy. Although many times these close relationships can be disguised as a well-functioning and intimate family dynamic, it is an indication of dysfunction.
A codependent parent will either overtly or covertly place responsibilities on their children that satisfy them. This may be having to care for a parent’s needs and wants, taking care of younger siblings, or being subtly manipulated or guilt-tripped into doing certain things. A codependent parent is not easy to spot, especially at a young age, children will obey their parents out of respect and sometimes fear. This creates an unhealthy dynamic between parent and child. Over time you may notice that your codependent parent may be taking it too far and start to feel resentment, anger, or frustration towards them.
The effects of a codependent parent can heavily impact your psychological, biological, and social development and well-being.
But why are parents codependent? When a parent is codependent, it is usually a sign of an underlying issue. They may be imitating what they learned growing up or have developed negative attachment habits while raising their children. It is common for codependent parents to feel the need to control their children and be overly involved in their lives. It may seem like love to them but it has damaging effects on a child.
As an effect of a codependent parent, you may experience:
- Confused sense of self.
- Lack of emotional understanding and expression.
- Codependency habits in your personal life.
- Poor or negative self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
- Inability to make decisions and trust yourself.
- A constant need for external validation.
- Unhealthy attachment behaviors in relationships.
- Imitating the experienced behavior with your children.
Having a codependent parent can be extremely confusing and emotionally stressful. If you have a codependent parent or experienced a codependent parent growing up – keep reading to identify the signs you may have missed.
Signs of a codependent parent?
It is easy to overlook the signs of a codependent parent when you don’t know any better. As an adult, you may start to pick up on certain codependent behaviors from your parents. It is important to take note of the signs of a codependent parent, this will help you learn to understand the effects of a codependent parent that you may be experiencing, and learn how to set boundaries with codependent parents.
The signs of a codependent parent:
- They are overly involved in your life and try to influence or control your decisions.
- You may have had to take care of your parents at a very young age.
- Your codependent parent may have been choosing your clothes at an inappropriate age.
- They will altogether dismiss anyone else or their own needs just to be involved in your life.
- They may be passive-aggressive with you and have random outbursts of anger especially when you made a decision that takes you away from them.
- They make you feel guilty for doing things for yourself that might consume your time spent with them.
- They always believe that they are right no matter what.
- A codependent parent will never take responsibility for their wrongdoings and always play the victim to make you feel bad for them.
- They will not have boundaries with you and always dismiss or excuse bad behavior.
- They have low self-esteem and are only happy when you are around.
Breaking codependency with a parent can be hard. They have an intense need to be involved in your life and will always try to manipulate you into doing things that make them happy. When learning how to deal with a codependent parent, you will slowly be able to set boundaries with them to help them let go of their codependency behaviors. By understanding the effects of a codependent parent, you will be able to effectively protect yourself and the relationship with your parent.
The effects of having a codependent parent can be extremely harmful to your adult life. From a young age, your psychological and emotional development has already been negatively impacted as a result of this experience. As you grow older, you may become codependent yourself and have to deal with the long-term consequences of codependent parents.
Do not ignore the effects of a codependent parent:
- Codependent behaviors.
- Lack of boundaries.
- Mental health challenges or anxiety.
- Personality disorders.
- Poor parenting skills.
- Staying in toxic relationships.
- Unable to formulate your own opinions or make decisions.
- People pleasing.
- Can’t take responsibility for your actions.
- Unresolved anger or frustration.
- Unhealthy relationships with your children.
Any of the above-mentioned effects of a codependent parent can develop over time if not dealt with effectively. We encourage you to reach out to a professional codependency counseling therapist.
How to set boundaries with codependent parents?
When setting boundaries with a codependent parent, can be very difficult. Codependent parents need to feel as though they are in control and involved in your life at all times. This becomes a very dysfunctional relationship and causes feelings of resentment towards a parent. It is important to set firm boundaries with a codependent parent and stick to them. Without proper boundaries, your parents will continue to feel that it is okay for them to be overly involved in your life and base their happiness on you.
How do you set boundaries and break codependency with parents?
As challenging as it will be, there are effective ways that you can set boundaries with a codependent parent. Let’s have a look.
1. Be honest, clear, and direct.
Remember, a codependent parent will automatically become defensive when confronted about unhealthy behaviors. Before introducing these boundaries, make sure you paint a clear picture to them about why this needs to happen and mention specific behaviors that make you feel a certain way.
2. Be compassionate but firm.
It will be hard for them to accept your terms, you need to remind them that it is for your benefit as well as the relationship. Express your honest feelings and be open to listening and having a conversation about it.
3. Show appreciation.
When you address a codependent parent, they will take your boundaries personally and begin to feel like they’ve made a mistake. Reassure them that you appreciate them, the relationship as well as their concern for you.
4. Repeat yourself.
A codependent parent will try to negotiate and persuade you out of setting boundaries. Continue to repeat yourself, your needs, and your wants. They will eventually accept, understand and respect your decisions.
5. Practice releasing feelings of guilt.
It is normal to feel guilty when setting boundaries with a codependent parent. Practice acknowledging and releasing feelings of guilt. You deserve to express yourself and have your needs met.
It will be a challenging journey through dealing with a codependent parent as an adult, however, it is important to address it and avoid any further effects of a codependent parent. Connecting to a professional codependency counseling therapist will offer you support during setting boundaries with a codependent partner, as well as, help you learn more about the effects of a codependent parent and how to overcome it effectively.
How does Online codependency counseling work?
Online codependency counseling is the most effective method of professional therapy. With BetterHelp, you have the advantage of choosing a therapist that you feel most comfortable with. Once you have connected with an appropriate therapist, you can plan and schedule your sessions based on your availability. No need for traveling, changing plans, going to make your sessions on time, and no need to get used to a new environment. Conduct your sessions through video calls, phone calls, or even live chat. You are in control with BetterHelp. Online codependency counseling – affordable, convenient, and highly effective.
How will Online codependency counseling improve my life?
Online codependency counseling will teach you about the root causes of codependence to give you a better understanding. Through the close guidance of your codependency counseling therapist, you will learn how to deal with a codependent parent, as well as, how to set firm boundaries to protect yourself and maintain a healthy connection. Online codependency therapy is a form of support, and guidance while receiving educated advice. Through your codependency counseling sessions, you will develop unique methods of effectively overcoming any effects of a codependent parent.