Unhealthy Codependent Friendship Signs. Best Online Codependency Counselors Near Me
How do you know if you’re in a codependent friendship? It is always a challenging thing to identify. In codependent friendships, the dynamic between two friends is a giver and a taker. Much like in a codependent relationship, one friend always ends up having to give more of themselves to satisfy the needs of the other person. When you’re in a codependent friendship, you may feel as though this friend is the beginning and end of your life and when they are not around, your world seems to be on pause. This is the first sign of an unhealthy codependent friendship. In codependent friendships, there is a lack of personal boundaries, and you and your friend often help each other define your true feelings, emotions, and even decisions. This is a toxic cycle of codependency as it causes one or both friends to lose their individuality.
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How do I find the best online Codependency Counselors near me?
Finding the right online codependent counselor can be a complicated process, especially when there are so many options out there. The journey to find a codependency counselor that you feel comfortable with and that can effectively guide you through learning about a codependent friendship may be confusing. It is important to connect to a certified, professional, and educated codependency counselor. Make sure you do proper research and establish what you expect from your counselor.
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What are the unhealthy codependent friendship signs?
A codependent friendship means that you and your friend start to lose your sense of individuality. The friendship becomes the center of your life and governs how you make decisions. In a codependent friendship, one or both friends overshare their opinions, thoughts, values, and major life decisions. These are all based on friendship which does not allow for any personal development or growth. A common sign of an unhealthy codependent friendship is not having any time for yourself, it is almost impossible to engage in small things like self-care.
Although it is healthy to have close relationships with your friends that you can rely on from time to time, in an unhealthy codependent friendship, that line is crossed and boundaries are lost. Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘my friend is codependent on me?’ and did not take it seriously? That may have been a sign of an unhealthy codependent friendship.
If you are looking to understand or identify the signs of an unhealthy codependent friendship, counselors suggest looking out for these indicators:
1. One friend always feels extremely drained after spending time together.
If you are the friend that is always giving or helping your friend overcome challenges or personal problems, you might start to feel drained after spending time with your friend.
2. Your friend always needs saving.
Although it is normal to be there for a friend during tough times, someone who enjoys being taken care of can tend to take advantage of your good nature. This leads to you always having to come to the rescue when something goes wrong.
3. One person is in control.
In a codependent friendship, there is an imbalance. One friend will always find a way to overrule the situation. This is because there is a lack of boundaries that allow you to separate your feelings from your friends.
4. Happiness or state of being depends on your friend.
Because a codependent friendship becomes so dysfunctional, when you or your friend are upset or unhappy, it automatically affects the other. There are no individual feelings or emotions.
5. Your friend’s needs come before yours.
It is common in codependent friendships for one to dismiss their own needs and feelings to make the other happy. This becomes dangerous because over time you may find yourself disregarding your values and morals to please a friend.
6. Feeling guilty for expressing personal needs or wants.
If you are the giver in the friendship, it may be hard for you to share your needs with your friend because you feel guilty for not considering them first.
7. There is jealousy.
If a friend becomes extremely jealous of you growing closer to someone else, they will start to act passive-aggressive with you or make you feel bad for abandoning them for another person.
8. Relying on the friendship.
If one or both friends are heavily relying on the friendship to help their self-esteem, confidence, or happiness, it is a sign of an unhealthy codependent friendship.
Codependency in friendships can be hard to identify and acknowledge. If you have ever thought, ‘my friend is codependent on me’ or are having doubts that you are so dependent on your friend, keep reading and learn how to overcome codependency in friendships.
How to overcome codependency in friendships?
The first step to overcoming codependency in friendships is to identify and accept the signs of an unhealthy codependent friendship. Once you have taken note of that, we encourage you to learn about the root causes of codependency that may have been triggered by childhood experiences.
When there is codependency in friendships, one or both friends become entirely reliant on one another and the friendship for personal benefits. It is not uncommon to feel that a codependent friendship is emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. The dysfunction and imbalance cause long-term effects that can complicate into further challenges.
Overcoming a codependent friendship will help you better understand the causes of codependency and avoid any potential damage. Setting boundaries with codependent friends can help you build a balanced, healthy, and interdependent friendship. If these questions apply to you, this is what you can do. ‘I am codependent on my friend, what can I do?’, ‘My friend is codependent on me, how can I change this?’
Here’s how to overcome codependency in friendships.
1. Discover, acknowledge and accept.
When dealing with codependency in friendships, it is usually a sign of unresolved past trauma. Codependency develops from unpleasant childhood experiences or toxic previous relationships. Figure out why you or your friend are codependent in the friendship.
2. Identify what the friendship brings.
It is time to evaluate the friendship from an objective standpoint. Make a list of how the friendship adds value to you and your life. As well as, how you do so for your friend. If there is no other benefit beyond just feeling good because of your friend, it may be a dying friendship.
3. Discuss the issue with your friend.
It is important to share your honest feelings with your friend and be open to listening and talking about the issue at hand. This will bring you closer and help create a genuine bond between you when working towards overcoming codependency in friendship.
In any relationship or friendship, healthy boundaries are necessary. Setting boundaries in a codependent friendship can be hard, especially if it has been developing over time. Learn to establish your needs and wants, then set boundaries for yourself based on that.
5. Spend time with others.
In a codependent friendship, it’s easy to neglect all your other relationships and just focus on your friend. It is unhealthy to rely on one person for your happiness, comfort and support all the time. Spend time with family and other friends and learn to manage your life as your own.
Setting boundaries with codependent friends can be difficult. It may seem harsh and cause friction. Reassure your friend and yourself that these boundaries and changes are good for both of you. Let them know that you appreciate, love, and support them.
7. Put yourself first.
This is one of the most important steps when overcoming a codependent friendship. Do things for yourself that make you happy. Learn to self-regulate and deal with personal challenges without feeling like you need your friend to accomplish everything.
Many codependent friendships can be changed and saved, however, it requires both friends to work together to build a healthier friendship.
Setting boundaries with codependent friends?
When there is codependency in friendships, a lot of the time there will be weak or no boundaries at all. This harms the personal well-being of one or both friends. We encourage you to learn, acknowledge and communicate your needs and wants to a friend when setting boundaries. Without boundaries, codependency in friendships can be extremely draining and cause feelings of anger and resentment. This consequently can lead to the end of a friendship.
Steps to take when setting boundaries in a codependent friendship.
1. Respect each other’s time.
Make sure that both you and your friend are respecting one another’s time. If you have obligations to attend to and your friend disregards that, set a boundary to make sure that no one feels like they’re being mistreated or disrespected.
2. Your needs.
It’s important to clearly communicate your needs to a friend without feeling guilty. If you need time by yourself or need them to be punctual for something important to you – communicate that with them.
When there’s codependency in a friendship, one friend will always be giving more than the other. Do not dismiss this. If you or your friend only call or make time for each other when it benefits you, it might be time to reassess the friendship and make sure that there is a balance of giving and taking.
4. Sharing information.
If your friend pressures you into sharing information that you may not be comfortable with at the time, make sure that they respect your decision. Reinforce that you need more time and do not feel comfortable.
5. Respecting values.
When it comes to values and morals, a codependent friend is likely to disregard these. You need to let them know that you want them to respect your values and morals no matter what. And vice versa.
6. Separate your feelings and well-being.
It’s great to be empathetic towards your friend. But work on not getting influenced by their emotional or mental state of being.
Learn to accept and reciprocate support in times of need but do not try to control or overrule your friend’s decisions. In codependent friendships, it is common for one friend to feel that they know what is best. Let them make decisions and mistakes and learn to do the same for yourself.
Dealing with codependency in friendships is difficult, you will feel very conflicted and even guilty at times. It’s important to stick to the boundaries you set for yourself, in the long run, this will help your friendship grow stronger and healthier. It is advised to connect to a professional codependency counselor who can give you the support and guidance you will need during this time.
How does Online codependency counseling near me work?
With online codependency counseling, you have the option of choosing a counselor that you are most comfortable with and can relate to. BetterHelp offers professional, private, and effective online sessions that you can plan and schedule based on your availability. You have direct access to your codependency counselor, so in times of need, they are there for you. Conduct therapy your way, his phone call, video call, or live chat. You are entirely in control of your journey of codependency counseling.
How will Online codependency counseling near me improve my life?
When dealing with codependency in friendships, it is normal to feel conflicting or confusing emotions. Especially when setting boundaries with a codependent friend. During this time, it is helpful to have the support and guidance of a professional. Through online codependency counseling, you are allowing yourself to learn, heal and overcome. As a result, not only will you become a stronger, more confident, and self-secure individual, but you will be able to help those around you.
Codependency counseling can help you save a friendship with codependency, and develop a stronger, healthier, and long-lasting friendship.