Top Ways to Overcome Codependency in Marriage. The Best Online Codependency Therapy.
Codependent relationships are known to be dysfunctional. It is a dynamic where there is an imbalance of power.
This means that one person will continue to be the primary caretaker, constantly putting in time and effort.
You may find yourself making compromises, while your partner takes advantage.
Did you know that not setting boundaries in a codependent marriage can cause severe depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and emotional distress?
In codependent marriages, it is often common to find that one or both spouses are enabling the others’ behavior, addiction, or lack of responsibility.
This creates weak boundaries in your marriage and consequently causes challenges such as neglecting your morals, values, and happiness.
How do I find an online codependency therapist?
Finding the right online codependent therapist can be overwhelming. With a multitude of options out there, you may not know where to start or what to look for.
The most important thing to consider when finding an online codependent therapist is their ability to understand, respect, and assist you with your challenges.
You want to work with a professional, certified, and experienced codependent.
Regain codependency therapists are trained professionals who work closely with couples on how to repair a codependent relationship. They are experienced in helping both spouses set boundaries in a codependent relationship as well as to overcome and heal from any bad habits, and past trauma to develop a healthier relationship.
Finding a therapist through Regain is a seamless process. In just three steps you will be connected to a relationship specialist that will be able to assist you and your partner with your challenges.
Regain online codependency couples therapy allows you to conduct both individual and couples sessions. This ensures your comfort and privacy every step of the way.
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Oftentimes couples ask themselves, “How can a codependent relationship be saved?”.
It is important to holistically assess the relationship with a professional third party, such as a codependency therapist, in order to understand how to break codependency in a relationship.
This will teach you and your partner about the warning signs of a codependent relationship, as well as, the downfalls and dangers.
In this post, we will take a look at the negative consequences of not setting boundaries in a codependent marriage or relationship, discuss the signs of a codependent relationship, as well as teach you the difference between codependency vs healthy relationships.
Understanding codependent relationships
Codependent relationships are emotionally dysfunctional. When couples are in a codependent marriage or relationship, there is one person that is the primary caregiver, this person goes out of their way to please their partner, make sacrifices, and sometimes feels like they’re getting lost in the relationship.
The other partner is the codependent one, this person often takes advantage of their spouse or partner’s good nature, knowing that any irresponsible or hurtful behavior will be dismissed out of love.
Although in some cultures codependent relationships are accepted, more so for women, it inevitably starts to cause negative impacts on your individual well-being and on your marriage.
How do you know if you are the codependent partner?
Do you feel as though you are kind, soft-hearted, understanding, and always there to help your partner even at the expense of your own happiness?
Maybe you feel a compulsive need to always know what they’re doing or thinking and feel anxious and insecure, making it hard to set boundaries in a codependent relationship that you deeply desire. It may be a sign that you are codependent.
This is a sign that you may be emotionally or mentally exhausted from constantly taking care of your partner or accepting bad behavior.
Codependency is deeply rooted in generational learning, in many cases throughout childhood you might have experienced an imbalance in your parents’ relationship dynamic, where the power was typically in one person’s hands while the other was made to be submissive, caretaking and understanding.
Although this seems like a role-specific dynamic, the underlying effects of this are extremely dangerous to one or both partners’ emotional and mental well-being.
Codependency vs healthy relationships. In a codependent relationship, one person bases their happiness, validation, and self-esteem solely on their partner.
By any means possible, including lack of boundaries, communication of honest feelings, or uncomfortable sacrifices and compromises.
You lack a sense of individuality or personal identity, making it hard to enjoy things outside the relationship. This is codependent in a relationship.
On the other hand, the codependent enabler. This partner will gain satisfaction from having their needs and wants to be met all the time with little consideration for their partner’s feelings.
Becoming reliant on their partner to be there under any circumstance in order for them to feel fulfilled, needed, and happy in the relationship.
Over time this creates what is known as the cycle of codependency.
Can a codependent relationship be saved?
Understanding how to fix and save a codependent relationship requires identifying codependent behavior in your marriage and working toward unlearning them.
In each codependent marriage or relationship, the cycle of codependency will be different.
However, it is useful to learn about this cycle in order to understand how to save a codependent relationship, how to set boundaries in a codependent relationship or learn how to separate from a codependent relationship.
Let’s take a look at notable codependent behaviors in relationships.
- You struggle to understand and express your true emotions to your partner, and often find yourself dismissing or denying your feelings.
- One person’s needs are constantly being met while the other doesn’t receive the same attention.
- Your mood depends on your partner’s state of being.
- You feel ignored, invisible and lonely.
- There is a constant need to always know what your spouse is doing.
- You always dismiss or allow unhealthy and hurtful behavior (verbal or physical).
- Your partner’s issues are always worrying you.
- Your partner always gets their way with you.
- Everything you do is out of love, regardless of how you truly feel.
- You are married to an addict.
These are common warning signs of a codependent marriage. It is important to recognize any additional codependent behaviors or dynamics in your marriage. This will guide you through learning why you or your partner may have become codependent. Once you’ve identified the cycle of dependency in your marriage, the next step toward saving your codependent marriage is to set firm boundaries.
Can a codependent relationship be saved? According to marriage counselors and therapists, it is possible. However, the journey requires both partners to acknowledge the cycle of unhealthy behavior to break codependency in a relationship. It is common for this negative cycle to leave one or both partners harboring feelings of resentment, anger, frustration, and pain. This can make it even more challenging to unlearn unhealthy behavior patterns, it is advised to connect with a professional codependency therapist.
How to fix a codependent relationship?
Fixing a codependent relationship is no easy task. The first step suggested by therapists is to consider the longevity and severity of the codependence that has developed over time.
It is important to identify the role that each partner plays in the relationship, the codependent partner and the enabler.
This helps to regain a healthier balance in the relationships. Learning to set boundaries in a codependent relationship is a great way to maintain individuality, work on your self-esteem, and practice self-love.
Under the guidance of a codependent marriage or relationship counselor, you will easily be able to identify these roles and how to unlearn negative behaviors.
If you are the codependent partner, acknowledge that it does not make you a bad person. It could be an indication of your attachment style that has been negatively influenced by childhood experiences and past relationships. In relationships where both partners are codependent, in the beginning, it may seem like a great idea, however, over time one or both partners will grow resentful towards always doing the work and caretaking.
It is always a good idea to consider couples counseling.
Therapists recommend trying these methods to help stop codependency in a relationship.
- Reinforce your individuality and self-esteem.
- Find methods of communication that allow you to express your emotions comfortably.
- Be honest with yourself and your partner.
- Don’t neglect your friendships and family relationships.
- Make your own decisions and be comfortable doing so without consulting your partner.
- Learn to be assertive with your wants and needs.
- Make yourself happy, don’t always rely on your partner to pick you up when you’re feeling low.
- Recognize that you cannot take care of your partners every need. You are not a parent or a caretaker – be comfortable with just being a partner.
How to set boundaries in a codependent relationship?
The most important step in fixing and saving a codependent relationship requires setting honest and firm boundaries. This may be a challenging step to establish by yourself, we suggest considering connecting to a codependency marriage or relationship therapist to offer you guidance and support.
In a codependent relationship, setting boundaries is hard, this reinforces the negative behavior and continues the codependence cycle.
The reason why enforcing boundaries in a codependent relationship is commonly a result of being taught to disregard your needs to accommodate someone else’s from a young age. This consequently provokes poor self-esteem, lack of confidence and constantly seeking love, reassurance, and validation from others.
As you grow older and enter relationships, codependent behaviors start to develop and affect your relationship as well as your emotional and mental well-being.
Setting boundaries in a codependent relationship helps you reestablish your self confidence while learning healthier habits. It is helpful to establish the difference between codependency vs healthy relationships when setting boundaries in a codependent relationship.
How to set boundaries in a codependent relationship to build a mutually satisfying and healthy relationship.
- Learn your internal and external triggers. Exploring the root causes of your codependent habits and behaviors.
- Define the difference between codependency and support. It’s okay to help your partner, but when you are trying to influence their mood and control their behaviors – it becomes unhealthy.
- Remind yourself that you are responsible for your feelings. In codependent relationships partners believe that their partner’s feelings are their responsibility. Focus on yourself and your needs.
- Learn to say no to others. If you find yourself dismissing your values or feelings to accommodate someone else, it’s okay to say no.
- Don’t feel guilty about putting your feelings first.
- Seeking an expert in codependency can make the journey of fixing a codependent relationship easier.
What is codependency in marriage?
The nature of a codependency marriage is dysfunctional. When there is codependency in marriage, this means that there is an imbalance of emotional, mental, and physical support and care between spouses.
How does codependency in marriage happen?
It is commonly caused by early childhood learning. In households where a child is exposed to unhealthy behavior between parents or caregivers, they are consequently taught to minimize or dismiss their own emotions to attend to another person.
When someone is taught from a young age to prioritize someone over them to receive affection, comfort, or love – codependency habits start to form.
As a result, later in intimate relationships or friendships, you may find yourself people-pleasing or overcompensate by always putting someone else first at your expense.
Over time, these negative effects of codependency worsen and create a cycle of toxicity in a marriage. As a consequence, this causes a lack of boundaries, confidence, and poor self-esteem which can directly impact your mental well-being.
Although sacrifices, compromises, and support are the foundation of keeping a marriage happy and healthy, codependency can cross that line and become extremely unhealthy.
These are important effects to note of codependency in marriage:
- Emotional and mental imbalance.
- Poor self-esteem and lack of confidence.
- Feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment.
- Depression and anxiety.
- Lack of individuality.
- The constant need for approval or comfort for validation.
- Lack of boundaries.
With codependency in marriage, couples can lose sight of their love for one another and become completely immersed in fulfilling their partner’s needs while neglecting their own.
In a healthy marriage, there is a balance that allows couples to be interdependent, this allows space for healthy boundaries, self-love, and individuality, while still maintaining a mutually satisfactory relationship.
How to stop codependency in marriage?
Learning how to stop codependency in marriage is a challenge. In many cases, the habit of codependent behavior has developed over time, creating a habitual cycle of codependency.
When overcoming codependency in marriage, the first step therapists suggest taking is to identify the negative behaviors and habits of codependence between husband and wife.
Codependency treatment methods with a marriage counselor or codependency therapist can be helpful when learning how to stop codependency in marriage.
The symptoms of codependency in marriage will be unique to each couple depending on the causes, longevity, and severity of the codependency cycle.
For example, if you are a codependent woman and have formed negative attachment or codependency habits as a result of circumstance or previous relationship trauma, you may be struggling with breaking codependency in your marriage.
It is common for the codependent spouse to have weak or no boundaries in the marriage, and this creates further complications.
Codependent relationship boundaries are crucial. This will help create a balance between the enabler and the codependent partner.
It is important to remember that setting boundaries in a codependent marriage is not a selfish act.
You are not only doing yourself a favor but also helping to fix a codependent marriage and create a healthier relationship between you and your partner.
Steps to take when learning to stop codependency in marriage.
1. Find a hobby or new activity.
Codependency in marriage can cause you to lose sight of yourself. This results in not engaging in fun activities for your enjoyment outside the relationship.
Consider finding a new hobby or activity that will keep you busy, and give you a feeling of Independence and individuality.
The reason why therapists insist on setting boundaries in a codependent relationship is to regain self-esteem, balance, and healthier marriage.
Setting boundaries will help you learn to say no to your partner when you can’t tend to their every need.
This can help them learn how to manage and deal with issues by themselves and not constantly depend on you.
3. Have an open discussion.
Honest communication can help both partners admit to unhealthy behaviors in the relationship.
This creates a safe space for spouses to hear and listen to one another’s true feelings, fears and suggestions and work together towards fixing codependency in marriage.
4. Pay attention to your friendships.
In codependent relationships, couples can neglect their friends and family once they get stuck in the codependent cycle.
Therapists suggest maintaining your friendships, this can help you live your own life, without being entirely consumed by your marriage.
Friends and family are also great support systems when fixing codependency in marriage.
5. Rebuild yourself.
Learning to stop codependency in marriage will require you to think of yourself positively, and rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.
This will help you be comfortable with who you are and slowly you will learn that you are strong and able to love and accept yourself.
Starting with positive affirmations is a good method to try.
6. Learn to stand up for yourself.
If you struggle to say no to people when they disrespect you or try to take advantage of you, practice being assertive with them.
You may be constantly walking on eggshells to try and please everyone, this can be extremely draining and leave you dismissing your needs and wants.
Considering professional codependency treatment has helped many couples work through how to stop codependency in marriage.
With the guidance of a marriage or codependency counselor, you will have the support of a professional that can advise you both effectively.
How does Online codependency therapy work?
With Regain online methods of codependency therapy, you have the advantage of professional therapy on your own time. It is convenient, affordable, and highly effective.
Get matched with an appropriate online codependency therapist in just three steps. Because we want to make sure we fully understand you and your current challenges, we have created a short questionnaire that helps us connect you to the best therapist for you.
Based on the information you provide, we will connect you to the best codependency therapist.
Regain gives you the choice of having individual sessions or bringing your partner along. This helps couples get the best out of every session. Your comfort comes first.
Regain therapists are professional and respect your privacy and discretion throughout your therapy journey. If you are looking to learn, heal and overcome codependency in a relationship, get matched with Regain.
How will Online codependency therapy improve my life?
Online codependency therapy helps couples understand what codependency in a relationship is, as well as identify the causes and dangers.
If codependency develops and is left unaddressed by a professional codependency therapist, it is common for couples to experience; lack of intimacy, poor communication styles, increased anxiety and depression as well as further mental health challenges.
Regain ensures that through each session, you learn how to set boundaries in a dependency relationship, and identify internal and external triggers.
You and your partner will learn unique methods specifically to help you overcome unhealthy codependency in a relationship.