How to Overcome Insecure Attachment to Achieve Emotionally Healthy Relationships. Best Online Therapy for Insecure Attachment.

Attachment styles shape the way we navigate relationships, and process and express emotions. Here’s why.

Attachment styles contribute to developing coping mechanisms and reactive responses which can negatively impact relationships. Insecure attachment in a relationship can cause high levels of anxiety and stress. This leads to approaching relationships with fear of abandonment and rejection. It is possible to overcome insecure attachment, with the help of an insecure attachment therapist.

how to overcome insecure attachment

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How do I find an online specialist in therapy for insecure attachment?

Finding an online specialist for insecure attachment can be an overwhelming process if you aren’t sure about what you’re looking for.

We advise you to write down a few expectations from your therapy sessions. This can help you figure out what to look for. BetterHelp has an easy, stress-free process of finding the most appropriate specialist for insecure attachment. Within 5 minutes you can be matched and connected with the best-suited insecure attachment therapists to choose from.

Simply complete this questionnaire carefully, based on your answers, we will match you with specialists in insecure attachment to choose from.

Get matched with an online specialist in therapy for insecure attachment

Effective, convenient, and affordable online sessions. Start by filling out our survey in its entirety.

BetterHelp online methods of therapy in comparison to traditional methods of therapy are far more effective, convenient, and affordable. You have the opportunity to select a specialist in insecure attachment that you feel most comfortable with. BetterHelp online therapy methods give you the advantage of high-quality therapy from the safety and comfort of your home.

What is insecure attachment?

Understanding insecure attachment.

Insecure attachment is categorized as approaching relationships out of fear of abandonment.

A common trait of those that have insecure attachment, they have fear of abandonment and struggle to ask for help. This causes extreme internal conflict and anxiety. The insecure attachment style makes it extremely difficult for people to connect with others on an emotional level. An individual who has an insecure attachment often feels very anxious about the relationship with the other person and can be suffocated by the idea that their needs or desires are not met by their partner.

Those that have an insecure attachment style struggle with expressing their emotions and often feel that they may be too clingy because they require more reassurance and validation from the people in their lives. However, they are afraid of being rejected or abandoned, which makes it difficult or in extreme cases, impossible to communicate effectively.

Insecure attachment can also be known as anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, or fearful-avoidant attachment. These are all categorized by the fear of abandonment and neglect as a result of a negative childhood experience with an emotionally or physically inconsistent caregiver.

Unresolved childhood trauma causes the development of negative attachment styles and reactive coping mechanisms.

Differences between secure vs insecure attachment.

What is Insecure attachment?

This attachment style is primarily categorized by fear and abandonment as well as extreme anxiety when approaching relationships. These individuals commonly lack emotional awareness or understanding, they have a negative perception of themselves and struggle with self-esteem.

What is secure attachment?

This attachment style is the complete opposite. Those with a secure attachment style have a better understanding of their own emotions, feelings, and expectations, and communicate and express those more effectively. They commonly have a positive sense of self, confidence, and self-esteem, offering them more security in their relationships and themselves.

The most common characteristics of someone with insecure attachment:

  • Struggles with intimacy
  • Inability to express emotions
  • Low self-esteem and negative self-image
  • Challenges with maintaining healthy relationships
  • High levels of anxiety and stress
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Requires frequent reassurance and validation
  • Had a troubling childhood or connection with caregivers

Common characteristics of someone with a secure attachment style:

  • Confident and healthy, positive self-esteem
  • Communicates emotions and feelings effectively
  • Resilient
  • Long-term healthy relationships and connections
  • Healthy attachment
  • Easily trusting and forgiving
  • Ability to self-regulate and minimize impulsive behavior
  • Had a healthy childhood and relationship with caregivers

The signs of insecure attachment can be a warning to seek professional help and guidance. Furthermore specifically if it is negatively affecting your wellbeing, mental health, and relationships.

It is possible to healthily overcome insecure attachment and develop a secure attachment. With the support and advice of a professional attachment specialist, you will be able to practice more effective ways of communicating, develop and maintain emotionally healthy relationships and improve your self-esteem and confidence.

What are the signs of insecure attachment in adults?

Many adults are unaware that they have an unhealthy attachment style. Much later in life after challenges and experiences in relationships they may begin to notice negative behaviors or habits.

Identifying the signs of insecure attachment from the onset is always advised to stop it and learn to create healthier attachment styles. However, not everyone is prone to introspection and self-evaluation. If you have noticed recurring negative impacts that your behavior, thoughts, emotions, or habits may have had on relationships or even internally;

These are the signs of insecure attachment that you should not ignore:

  • You may constantly retreat and push others away
  • You struggle to process and soothe your emotions
  • Sometimes you have impulsive reactions
  • You feel clingy and don’t want to
  • In a relationship, you often feel like you can’t share your true feelings
  • You constantly overthink people’s intentions
  • You prefer to keep to yourself
  • Accepting or expressing emotions is difficult
  • You struggle with low self-esteem and lack confidence
  • You sometimes feel overly dependent on a partner
  • A partner’s independence can feel threatening to you
  • You can’t ask for help even when you need it

These are all common signs of someone with insecure attachment. There are multitudes of additional indicators that may be unique to you as a result of your personal life experiences and potential trauma.

Often adults with an insecure attachment style struggle to identify the signs of their insecure attachment until much later in their lives. Even so, some may deny the attachment style out of fear of admitting it. However, it is highly advised to seek professional help if any of the signs and symptoms of insecure attachment have negatively impacted areas of your life.

How to overcome insecure attachment?

Although it is common to hear that most people feel as though it is impossible to overcome an insecure attachment. It is highly possible to overcome an insecure attachment style. It requires hard work as well as guidance, support, and encouragement from a professional insecure attachment specialist. Overcoming insecure attachment in order to develop a secure unhealthy attachment style, can help you express emotions and feelings effectively to a partner.

Insecure attachment specialists advise you to learn how to overcome insecure attachment and develop a more secure and healthy attachment style. Start with methods of self-regulation and practice positive affirmations to help you build healthy self-esteem and a strong sense of confidence. Emotionally healthy relationships require you to be more confident and happy with yourself, as well as, better understand your causes, triggers, and expectations of your own emotions, wants, and needs before creating expectations from a partner.

When someone learns to develop a more secure healthy attachment style they are developing a sense of independence as well as autonomy. This ensures that you feel more secure in a relationship as well as be stable and confident with your emotions, feelings, and methods of expression.

These tips are advised to try when overcoming insecure attachment:

1. Knowledge and understanding.

Read up about your attachment style or ask a professional attachment specialist for advice. This puts you in a better position to keep track of your attachment patterns, triggers, and reactions.

2. Attachment specialist.

It can be confusing to clearly and accurately identify signs and symptoms of insecure attachment, its causes, and triggers -it is always best to get professional and educated advice.

3. Practice affirmations.

Write down a lot of things that you like about yourself and practice saying these things to yourself daily in the mirror. What this does is it helps to rebuild self-esteem and confidence.

4. Seek out partners and friends with secure attachment.

By doing this you can either help you take note of their patterns and incorporate them in your daily life. Alternatively you can end up in a relationship with someone who will offer you security and help you overcome insecure attachment.

5. Practice makes perfect.

Continue to remind yourself of what you want, your needs, and why you’re on this journey to overcome insecure attachment. Every day will be different but remember that the end goal is emotionally healthy relationships and a better you.

How does Online therapy for insecure attachment work?

With Online therapy for insecure attachment you have the advantage of conducting stress-free, convenient and effective therapy sessions all from the comfort of your home. No need to worry about travel time or inconvenient session times. You are fully in control.

With online insecure attachment therapy, you have direct access to your chosen therapist and the ability and control to plan and schedule your therapy session completely based on your availability. Not only are BetterHelp online insecure attachment therapy sessions highly affordable, but they are also extremely effective.

How will Online therapy for insecure attachment improve my life?

Insecure attachment can lead to extremely negative attachment habits and behaviors that can cause high levels of stress and anxiety. In cases where not dealt with professionally, attachment styles are known to develop and complicate into psychological disorders. It is always advised for those with insecure attachment to reach out to a therapist as soon as you start to identify the negative impact that insecure attachment has caused.

Attachment therapy will teach you to develop and practice healthy and effective methods of self-regulation. As a result, understand and learn how to communicate your emotions to others around you. This will have a positive impact on your well-being as well as encourage you to create secure, emotionally healthy relationships and long-lasting connections.

emotionally healthy relationships

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