Top 7 Deactivating Strategies of Avoidant Attachment. Best online Avoidant Attachment Therapy.

Those who have the avoidant attachment style are usually faced with contrasting emotions and actions, they become so overwhelmed and fearful of meaningful connections and abandonment or rejection despite their desire for such.

Their anxiety and avoidant attachment behavior leads them to push people away as a ‘fight or flight’ reaction to protect themselves from potentially getting hurt or neglected.

It’s important to remember that those that struggle with avoidant attachment do not intentionally want to isolate themselves but rather feel distressed when they become attached to someone or something.

Avoidant Attachment Deactivating Strategies

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If you are currently having relationship problems or want to improve your relationship before making the decision to move in together or have a child, individual or couples therapy can help you build a solid foundation for cohabitation success.

Maybe you’re thinking about looking for a therapist, but you’re having a hard time finding one in real life.

Online individual or couples therapy can be the solution to finding a high-quality therapist to heal from anxious and avoidant attachment, no matter where you live.

How do I find an online specialist in avoidant attachment therapy?

With avoidant attachment, finding an appropriate online specialist in avoidant attachment can be a stressful experience. You may start to feel anxious or nervous about the choice you have to make.

BetterHelp has made finding an online therapist that’s just right for you and your partner, an easy and stress-free process. Online methods of therapy through BetterHelp have helped countless individuals and couples overcome and heal from their challenges while feeling safe and comfortable.

Finding an avoidant attachment specialist has never been easier. Simply fill out this questionnaire carefully and as accurately as you can, shortly after you’ve completed the questionnaire, we use your answers to match you with the top, most eligible, and professional avoidant attachment therapists to choose from.

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With BetterHelp online methods of therapy, there are no long-winded forms to fill out. No travel time. No rearranging your timetable. You and your partner are fully in control of how and when you prefer to have your sessions.

With 24/7 direct access to your chosen therapist. You are free to schedule and plan your therapy sessions on your terms. Our team of BetterHelp professional, certified, and experienced avoidant attachment therapists, psychologists, and coaches are there to support and build you.

What is avoidant attachment?

An avoidant attachment style; A form of attachment that develops from a young age. This happens when a child is exposed to unhealthy and inconsistent behavior from a parent or caregiver.  They may have withheld bare essentials from the child, for example; clothing, food, or healthcare.

This form of neglect and dismissive behavior from a primary figure in a child’s life causes an emotional and psychological reaction leading the child to believe that their needs, wants and mere existence is a burden to those around them.

As they grow older, the avoidant attachment starts to develop and influence the way they portray themselves. In almost all cases and experiences of a romantic relationship or friendship from the perspective of someone with an avoidant attachment style. It is an extremely confusing and highly stressful experience. More so when triggered. The reason that these experiences become dreadful for those with the avoidant attachment style is that they internally battle themselves, they want to make meaningful and personal connections and relationships, but it’s already so deeply ingrained in their thinking that they are not worth that.

Those who have an avoidant attachment style, tend to create and use avoidant attachment deactivating strategies.

What this means is that they will consciously or unconsciously find ways to distance themselves from loved ones. When your partner begins to express needs and wants, you almost instantly retract and internalize yours because you believe that your emotions, feelings, needs, and wants may trigger them. Causing you distress and anxiety, which leaves you stockpiling resentment and beginning to feel numb and distant in the relationship. This is known as using avoidant attachment deactivating strategies.

You want them to see you, and in the same breath you’re entirely afraid of the, ‘what if’.

Unfortunately, many people who have the avoidant attachment style do not know how to express themselves to those around them. Essentially, because of their perceived reality – they can’t. This becomes a crippling and stressful situation for them, resulting in complete withdrawal and dissociation.

For more information, please visit: Therapy for childhood abandonment trauma in adults.

What are the avoidant attachment triggers?

Having an avoidant attachment style can become extremely distant from loved ones. Many people with this attachment style tend to avoid creating personal and intimate connections with friends or intimate partners. Your emotional triggers can become overwhelming and thus, you suppress your feelings and doubts out of fear.

Each individual that has the avoidant attachment style has different triggers, they can be either emotional or physical.

These are some of the common avoidant attachment triggers you may experience:

1. When a potential long-term partner wants to get ‘too close’

2. Having an emotionally vulnerable and open partner that expects the same from you.

3. Being in a relationship that you feel is ‘taking up too much time.

4. Unpredictable or inconsistent situations where you feel out of control.

5. Having to be dependent on others.

6. Feeling as though your partner or friend is too demanding of you.

7. Receiving criticism from family or loved ones.

8. Worrying that you will be judged for being emotional.

9. The fear of being vulnerable and rejected.

10. Conflict or disagreements that make you feel inferior.

These triggers can cause someone with the avoidant attachment style to immediately withdraw from the relationship and find ways to distract themselves from unpleasant emotions through work or hobbies. Rather than address the issue, they will pretend that it’s not happening or that it doesn’t exist.

Avoidant attachment triggers can happen in personal and intimate relationships or even with family and friends. It is important to reach out to a professional avoidant attachment therapist that will be able to help you find ways to self-regulate your emotions instead of suppressing them.

As someone that finds it challenging to express true feelings to those around them, you might start to realize that this can negatively impact your relationships and your wellbeing.

Signs of emotional detachment in a relationship

The symptoms of emotional detachment can sometimes be subtle and over time develop and become easier to identify. Whether you’re experiencing emotional detachment in a relationship or emotional detachment in a marriage.

It’s important to educate yourself and be able to note the symptoms of emotional detachment.

These are some negative effects of emotional attachment to look out for:

  • Find it challenging to peruse and maintain a relationship
  • Distracted or preoccupied when in the company
  • Lack of focus or attention
  • Difficulty showing affection and love to family and friends
  • Avoiding places, activities of people associated with past trauma or pain
  • Lack of emotional expression
  • Difficulty understanding or sympathizing with others’ emotions
  • Find it difficult to share honest emotions and feelings
  • Commitment issues
  • Unable to prioritize others

Everyone experiences emotional detachment differently and has various symptoms. Emotional detachment therapy can help you clearly define and identify your symptoms or your partners’.

Top 7 avoidant attachment deactivating strategies.

Avoidant attachment deactivating strategies are ‘flight or fight’ responses to emotional triggers.

These are the ‘push-away’ methods that you may or may not realize you are doing. Avoidant attachment causes people to convince themselves that being alone is just as good as being with or around others. They tend to feel misunderstood and have a deep fear of connection.

Consequently resulting in avoidant attachment deactivating strategies. Almost all of these avoidant deactivating strategies are a result of intrusive thoughts and a subconscious need for safety.

1. Physical distance or avoiding intimacy to keep the other person that bay.

When you feel that your partner may be too physically close or may hug you for a bit longer than you’re comfortable with. You might start to feel overwhelmed and need to create space between you and them.

Sometimes this could cause you to recoil from their touch, or create distance between you and them so that you feel comfortable and safe.

2. The vulnerable detachment.

The insatiable need for a feeling of safety after being vulnerable. When you feel as though you have been vulnerable to the point where you feel uncomfortable and need to retreat to your safe zone. This is caused by a previous experience of being vulnerable and receiving criticism or rejection.

3. Analyzing the connection.

People with the avoidant attachment style have a fear of connection, in situations where you are in a relationship, you start to overanalyze the connection developing between you and a partner.

Very early on in the relationship, you might start to submit to your intrusive thoughts about why the connection is or could be flawed.

4. Doubting your feelings.

When a connection starts to build and the relationship starts to develop, you naturally start to have feelings about this person.

If it reaches a point where you start to feel out of your comfort zone, you will begin to doubt your feelings while at the same time having positive feelings. This creates a very unpleasant and conflicting cycle which can confuse you and cause you to retract from your partner.

5. Fear of not being enough.

As a child you felt like you weren’t enough for your parents because of how they treated you. This created a fear of not being able to meet others’ needs and wants, a fear of being inferior. This again causes self-doubt and negative self talk which can cause friction in the relationship.

6. Past connections acting as a buffer.

Many people with the avoidant attachment style tend to hold on to a past partner or connection that they subconsciously use as an ‘emotional buffer’ to keep themselves safe and in control in their current relationship.

It helps them to feel less vulnerable and fearful of emotional connection. They use a past connection or partner as a way of comparing their current relationship to something else, leaving the thought of ‘what if?’.

Although many times they might still have strong feelings for their past partner, it is not healthy for the current relationship and can cause a painful breakup.

7. Fictional infatuation. 

A vast majority of people that have an avoidant attachment style tend to develop feelings for fictional characters or movie characters and use them as a guide of what they expect from their partners. This is a way of making sure that they don’t get too attached and potentially hurt.

How does online avoidant attachment therapy work?

With BetterHelp online avoidant attachment therapy, you have the advantage of conducting effective and professional therapy from your home, where you feel most comfortable, safe and in control.

You are able to plan and schedule your therapy sessions with your chosen avoidant attachment specialist whenever and however you want. No need for unnecessary travel or inconvenient session times. You are in control of everything.

BetterHelp offers you the opportunity to change therapists if you feel that you are not completely satisfied. In comparison to traditional methods of therapy, online avoidant attachment therapy is affordable, convenient and effective.

How will online avoidant attachment therapy help me manage my avoidant strategies?

Your avoidant attachment specialist will be able to guide you through understanding what avoidant attachment is, additionally, how to manage and cope with avoidant attachment deactivating strategies, and how to heal from anxious attachment.

You will learn more about yourself and how to be more comfortable with expressing your emotions to your loved ones. Through these one-on-one sessions, you will be able to safely share your experiences, doubts and fears that you may have.

The aim of avoidant attachment therapy is to give you the support you need to heal and overcome your avoidant deactivating strategies that could potentially harm your relationships and your personal wellbeing.

Connecting with an avoidant attachment specialist online is a comfortable and safe way of learning how to manage and cope with your challenges. Allowing yourself to heal and live a full, stress-free life.

Avoidant Attachment Therapy

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1 Comment

  1. John

    Why in the world would I go against my best judgement and let myself be sucked into a relationship? These defense mechanisms are there for a reason. I do appreciate the excellent list of deactivation strategies, though. I have used most of them and agree they are very effective.


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