Therapy For Adults Who Grew Up in Abusive Homes. Best Online Emotional Abuse Therapist Near Me
How do I find a good online emotional abuse therapist near me?
When choosing the best online emotional abuse therapist near me, BetterHelp encourages you first identify the type of healing you are looking for, this may sound daunting, however it is a simple process. Our team of emotional abuse therapists and psychologists have taken the time to formulate a quick and easy process for you to get matched with the most appropriate and suitable emotional abuse therapist for you, by carefully answering this questionnaire.
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What are the scars of emotional abuse?
When we talk about abuse, physical abuse initially comes to mind, however there are multiple forms of abuse – mental and emotional forms of abuse are just as damaging. The first step is to to recognize the signs or effects of emotional abuse:
Invading your privacy
- Yelling or excessive shouting
- Insults or ridiculing you
- Punishing you for acts you not going along with their ideals
- Attempting to make you question your sanity (gas lighting)
- Isolation from friends and family
- Subtle or overt threats
These are basic signs of emotional abuse. It’s important to know that emotional abuse is not your fault, in situations where children grow up in abusive homes, most of the time, physically and emotionally abusive parents have unresolved challenges and end up protecting these feelings onto their children as a result of not healing. Adults who grew up in abusive homes tend to find themselves asking, ‘why was I abused?’. Emotional abuse is not normal, but your feelings are.
At BetterHelp, we encourage you to find an emotional abuse therapist near me to help you uncover the damage and and scars of emotional abuse, as well as to talk about what happens to adults who grew up in abusive homes, and learn to deal with those damages effectively in order to heal and grow.
Short-term effects of emotional abuse can cause feelings and emotions like:
Consequently, these effects of emotional abuse can cause physical, mental and behavioral challenges:
Unstable mood or random mood swings
- Muscle tension
- Difficulty concentrating
- Racing or irregular heartbeat
- Various aches and pains
Studies show that in cases of severe emotional abuse can cause similar effects to that of physical and mental abuse. It can result in long-term effects that contribute to anxiety and depression.
Over time you can begin to develop serious mental and physical health issues.
- Chronic pain
- Social withdrawal or avoidance
As an adult who grew up in an abusive home, the likelihood of you developing behavioral, mental, emotional and possibly physical challenges is very high as an effect of either an emotionally abusive parent, physically abusive parent, or a verbally abusive parent (guardians, caretakers as well). Abusive households or environments are extremely damaging to a child’s development, as consequently, the effects can last throughout your adulthood. Many victims of emotional abuse struggle with learning how to deal with emotionally abusive parents, how to confront an emotionally abusive parent or are unable to figure out how to forgive an emotionally abusive parent. All these feelings are completely normal and validated – your emotions, pain and scars are validated.
With the professional help of an emotional abuse therapist for adults who grew up in abusive homes will closely guide and teach you how to manage and deal with the emotions and feelings you are facing as a result of emotional abuse. You will find answers to conflicting questions like, ‘Why was I abused?’, ‘How do I know if I was abused?’, ‘Why do parents deny abuse?’, ‘How do I confront an abusive parent?’. These are extremely challenging and heavy emotions to carry and unpack, why not share the load with an emotional abuse therapist?
Was I abused? How can I know that?
When you begin to unravel the layers of emotional abuse, there will be questions that you may have about why you were abused and sometimes feel as though it may have been your fault. However, emotionally abusive parents or verbally abusive parents are suffering from their own personal challenges. Parents who deny abuse are in denial of their actions as they may be embarrassed or sometimes even unaware of their actions. Understand that it is not your fault.
As kids you don’t always recognize the sign of an abusive parent, you find yourself making excuses for their actions or dismissing it with things like, ‘they’re just having a bad day’. Oftentimes adults only realize and acknowledge the abuse much later in life. When this happens, it can change your entire perception of your childhood and your memories.
There are a few indicators to look for if you are trying to figure out if you were abused.
- Noticing parents’ mood swings
It’s important to go back and look at how moody your parents were when you were growing up. A parent’s mood and emotions directly affect their children, when you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your parents and feel nervous that they may suddenly have a dramatic mood shift as a result of you doing something, that is a sign of emotional abuse in the most passive aggressive manner. This highers your stress levels as a child and starts to cause damage in the brain and the body.
2․You felt as though they were overly-critical or extremely negative towards you
If a parent is continually focused on negative feelings or emotions towards you, it is a form of emotional abuse. If you experience negative comments from a parent, they continue to play in your head long after it has been said. You start to always trace back to the small things they said to you daily that made you feel bad about yourself, as you grow older, this starts to develop into habits of negative self-esteem and constantly talking down to yourself and being unable to see your self-worth. The voice of an abusive parent may have internalized. This is one of the identifying signs of verbal abuse from a parent.
3․Your feelings and emotions were dismissed or downplayed
As a child when you react to something as a natural response, abusive parents may say things like, ‘you’re just being overly sensitive’ or ‘you’re overreacting’. Those are signs of an emotionally unavailable parent.
4․Passive-aggressive behavior towards you
Parents may act a certain way toward you that would leave you feeling confused. They won’t tell you directly what’s bothering them but just start to act differently around you. This is a form of psychological and emotional abuse.
Parents who were overly anxious and constantly asking you to take care of them and their needs can lead to a child inhibiting that anxiety, causing higher levels of cortisol in the brain that later can lead to health challenges.
Emotionally abusive parents usually manipulate their children into doing things, they may say things like, ‘Do you know how much I gave up for you?’, this leads to adults adopting the same behavior and consequently manipulating others around them.
If you did something wrong that upset your parents, you were flat out ignored and given the silent treatment until you apologized, sometimes even after you were still ignored. This is extremely damaging to a child’s psychological development. A huge signal of an emotionally abusive parent.
8․Physically there but emotionally absent
Emotionally abusive parents are usually very cold under the surface, they’re physically present but unable to fully give you the emotional attention you need. Children feel very neglected by parents who take note of them but are occupied or distracted by being on the phone or watching TV.
9․Blaming yourself for other people’s bad behavior
When you don’t understand the actions of a parent towards you, many times you start to blame yourself. When people mistreat you as an adult you automatically feel like you are at fault as a survival coping mechanism to survive during childhood. As an adult you start to recreate these dynamics in other relationships.
10․Self-destructive behavior and anger toward your parent
High-risk behavior like unprotected sex, drug or substance abuse or self-harm are signs of adults who suffered emotional abuse as a child. This may be a psychological effect of internalized anger, hurt and frustration toward the parent that abused you, sometimes you may not even understand or be able to explain why as you have blocked it out subconsciously.
If you have found yourself wondering whether you were abused, whether you experienced emotional, physical or verbal abuse growing up – our team of certified experts at BetterHelp strongly recommend that you reach out to an emotional abuse therapist for adults as soon as possible to avoid any further damage.